Hi all! My partner (19F) and I (19M) have been in a relationship for over 9 months now and I can safely say it’s been amazing, she is the most incredible person I’ve ever met in my life. She’s extremely affectionate, loving, smart, and understanding.
And we both love to have sex. A lot of it.
However, I have found myself feeling a bit stuck and confused when it comes to the topic of Anal sex!
You see, over the past few months I have found myself increasingly interested in trying out Anal, something about it is extremely appealing to me, and I’ve never tried it before. I don’t know if I sound like a douche but I almost desperately want to try it.
My partner is experienced in Anal, she’s done it before (and said it was great), has various butt plugs, as well as other toys, and is comfortable with play during sex (eating and fingering).
Where the confusion begins is that she does not seem to be interested at all in having Anal sex with me. We’ve spoken about it throughout our relationship and she’s open to it, but we never get around to it and she doesn’t have the motivation to use any of her Anal toys to train herself to be comfortable with it again.
I’ve managed to get her to wear her butt plugs occasionally to work her way back there, but I have to remind her to do so every time and it makes me feel like I’m hassling her to do it, which has made me stop. She just doesn’t show any interest.
Sometimes when I ask about it I usually get dismissed with the answer “How about I fuck your ass first and see how you like it?” Which is extremely confusing to me as she says she’s open to it, has toys and training sets, enjoys play during sex, and has done it in the past. I’ve also let her play with me with butt plugs but it was found out that I am very much not a fan of having things up my butt, which makes her saying that feel even weirder since she know’s I’m not a fan.
If she were to just say that she wasn’t interested I’d at least know, but she says that she is, but everything else is telling me otherwise.
The entire situation is just making me feel very confused, embarrassed for myself for being so affected by it, and a bit insecure about myself.
Any ideas on how to help?
TLDR; My partner has experience with Anal but doesn’t seem to want to do it with me despite seeming open to it.
6 comments
Well if you get tired of asking “would you like to try anal tonight?” ask her “are you not into anal anymore?”. All I can suggest is to communicate. If she says she’s not into it anymore you need to stop asking and hoping for it. Enjoy what you do do together!
Anal is something that since the internet/social media and therefore porn took off, has suddenly become much more popular among men, as porn has normalized it when it was only a minority of women who were ever interested or willing. Women however usually not so keen for many reasons mostly to do with our biology and comfort level. Maybe she decided that she is no longer interested, she tried it and decided its not something she wants to do any longer (she would have been very young anyway). You seen to have an incredible GF, be careful your obsession with a kink doesn’t turn her away from you.
Don’t push (no pun intended). You are still very young, and you may find she is willing when she is in the mood.
Sounds like she is fucking with your head.
She’s giving you all the signs she’s not interested.
She’s giving you all the signs she’s not interested.