How did you get over your fear of approach?

21 comments

1. People are people dude. We all wanna cum

2. If it’s not rejection, then what is it? Can’t offer any advice if we don’t know what the hurdle is.

3. Just go into it not caring if they say yes or no. Treat it like a game. One where they really don’t matter.

4. Watch “ThatWasEpic” “LAWF” “Danny Duncan” on YouTube. These guys do it as pranks but wholeheartedly in a way that makes it seems do able for most people. Especially ThatWasEpic some one his videos just walking up to people starting convos makes me feel more confident like I can do it too.

5. Remove the pressure, chat with folks you don’t necessarily want to be involved with.

   Practice makes perfect.

6. Approach girls, get rejected, try again. The more you do it, the more confident you get, and the more you get used to rejection.

7. Remember “There is no better time then now”.

8. What’s the worst that can happen? She says no. Exactly same position as you were already in just now you have more information.

9. The fear of missing out/missing opportunities was stronger for me, so kinda forced myself out of it.

10. Try to be confident and relaxed. But if you struggle to find a conversation starter maybe try meeting people through similar hobbies and interests as well as your flirting skills. It’s all trial and error man nobody is batting 1.000.

11. Get a job or volunteer somewhere where you have to constantly talk to people. I work as a grocery store clerk and I get insanely hot women coming into my lane all the time (you cant buy wine at the self check out and hot bitches love wine)

12. Train yourself with the idea that they are just as nervous about being approached

13. Yeah, dude. It’s fear of rejection. That’s exactly what it is. Don’t worry. It’s completely natural. We all feel the same. Nobody gets over it. We just learn to care less about it.

    It’s like a fear of flying. First time I flew, I was scared. Then I had to fly few times a month for work. I was still scared but I was able to just ignore the fear because I had a ton of positive reference experiences where I didn’t fall out of the sky.

    I could say to myself, “yes, I feel fear, but it’s ok to ignore it because I’ve flown alot and nothing bad happened”.

    You can’t do that yet. You still think something bad might happen, whether you consciously believe it will or not. You haven’t survived enough to know you’re socially invulnerable.

    You need to get to that point, the “yeah, I’m scared to do this but I can ignore that because nothing bad every really happens” point that all guys get to when they realise even the most embarrassing rejection lasts for about 30 seconds and then it’s over.

14. You just have to do it. No other way.

15. I have a reputation for not being shy, but every once in a while, when I’m not feeling all that brave, I will joke that the rejection from “that one” would just be too painful. We all go through it.

16. I didn’t

17. You have no girlfriend. If she rejects you – you virtually lose nothing but the illusion of “what if” and a few minutes by conversation. Instead you even gain experience in conversing with people.

    Add to that the continuous positive effect of standing up to your fear and you have yourself the base case for why you should still do it. Find out what you could actually lose, what burden you get rid of by doing it and what you could gain. And expect to fail, make it a point to use it as practice – explore what other things beyond the initial problem you may lack. It’s a chance to grow – have a reason to grow and it will be easier to seek out these “challenges”.

    At least that’s how I overcame my fear of needles, speaking in front of people (been bullied in school) and going out with girls 1on1 (even casual).

    Dunno if that helps but all the best

18. Same way you get over any fear; you just man up and do it.

19. Just realize that there’s a 99% chance you never see that woman again, so if she rejects then who cares. Only you and her know of the moment.

20. Jocko Willink on his Instagram once said “this is gonna suck… do it anyway.”

    So, if that’s what you wanna do, and it’s gonna suck (trust me), *you fuckin do it*.

21. All she can do is say no.

    That being said you need to know when your punching above your weight