Just wondered if I’m being clingy or overbearing? So I had been driving my girlfriend around a lot today but not really spent any time with her. Most the week she sleeps due to work and can’t take days off due to working in a school, so weekends are really the only time we get to spend time together/quality time. Today for example though she has nail appointment, tattoo, I did a lot of driving just wanted to chill and spend rest of evening with her, she mentioned going out drinking possibly and I was excited then said her factors of her friends not being around to go with its probably a no…I felt kind of singled out by it as she didnt consider me especially if during week she is busy but realised she hasn’t seen her friends in a while so it’s fine…but at same time, she gets her 2 weeks holiday at work soon due to half term, 1st week she is away visiting family by herself and 2nd week she will be out visiting all of her friends and staying over at their houses probably overnight, so we aren’t going to see each other a lot. Tried to explain my side and was told while she realises I miss her she hasn’t seen her friends in a while and misses them, she used to sleep over/see one of them weekly and we live together so it’s fine. From my side I was like yeah but I just wanted to spend the weekend with you as in 2 weeks time you’ll see them for an entire week, while you are away we won’t be spending much time together and we haven’t really at the moment as you had appointments today and are tired most days after work. Am I just being overbearing, clingy or unreasonable?? Or does it seem like we actually don’t spend much time together
TL;DR: been driving gf most the day to appointments, haven’t spent any time together today, past few weeks due to work she sleeps after so haven’t really had much quality time. She wanted to go out drinking, didn’t mention me was just if it was friends, explained she misses her friends as she used to meet them once a week, hasnt in a while, so i understand but has 2 weeks off soon, 1 week away with family, 2nd week will be seeing/sleeping over probably each day at those friends anyway, just wanted a weekend together as probably won’t spend time together for 2-3 weeks, she said but we live together so it’s fine. Am I being clingy/overbearing or does it seem like we don’t actually get much time together?
4 comments
I don’t understand, how are you never seeing her if you live together
Something I didn’t understand when I was first living with my partners was the massive difference between being together and spending time together. I remember finding it irritating when my partner would say we never spend time together. Like, i’m right here!
I think it’s perfectly reasonable and necessary to spend dedicated time with your SO, especially when you live together. Time apart is equally valuable, of course. I hope you can communicate your needs and she’s receptive to it.
Invite her to do something fun。You make the plan。
It sounds like the time you are getting together is reasonable for her, but not for you. Neither of you is wrong, you just seem to be calibrated a little differently about this. I’m a lot more like your girlfriend, I think – the routine living together stuff *is* quality time to me. But if you want to do something special that’s perfectly reasonable and sweet – it just sounds like you need to plan something ahead because of her schedule. Ask her now to schedule a date night on an upcoming weekend!