I have been married for 15 years and it has been up and down, but all in all we have had a great marriage. It things are getting hard and I don’t know what to do.
I quite smoking in 2017 and gained a lot of weight. I am a big guy (6’4), but I got up to 315 at one point. I knew I was too heavy and had to lose the weight.
I’m spring if 2021 I started Keto diet and was really strict. In fact, I changed my lifestyle and feel much better. I have dropped down to 235 and I keep having to buy smaller clothes. I am proud of myself. It was hard and I had help from my wife but I did it.
I have slowed down on the keto for 6 months and just eat low carb. I basically don’t eat any bread, pasta, starchy veggies or sugar. Needless to say, that takes away a lot of food. But I have been happy with what I am eating and maintained my weight in the 230’s for 6 months.
Meanwhile, my wife continues to hound me on what I eat. And I eat a strict diet. We are on vacation this week and she went ballistic on me when I got some pecans after I after 2 chicken tacos for dinner 2 hours later.
She eats whatever she wants. Candy, soda, pop-corn. Does not matter. In fact, I have made her pop-corn and served her, not eating a bite. How many people have enough will power not to eat one bite if fresh microwave popcorn?
I feel like I have eared a very long leash. I was never morbidly obese. I feel like if I gain 10lbs she would freak.
Last night I asked what would she think if a guy would freak out on his wife is she gain 10lbs? It would be the most sexist gross thing a boy (would not call it a man) could do.
3 comments
I am sorry you don’t feel recognized for how much work you’ve put in. Let me say, Well Done!! 🎉 🙌
Congratulations on coming so far. It’s a big deal. I can only surmise what your wife might be thinking.. it feels pretty obvious she’s in the wrong in hounding you. You’ve done the work. It’s your choice. Either you remain committed or not. I believe your wife is possibly fearful you may gain back what was lost and she feels like she not only has supported you and loved you through the larger times in life, but was also there to support you and remind you and encourage you as you were losing the weight. Perhaps she sees it as partly her victory, too? Also, she may be much more attracted to you at this weight and not want to lose that? Or perhaps she’s legit concerned for your health and feels stress at the idea of losing you to health related issues? Only postulating.
Congratulations on your hard work. Definitely a lot of double standards out there. If a woman went from perfectly in shape to morbidly obese many would be counseling the woman claiming “it shouldn’t matter to your husband you are beautiful, divorce and find someone else”. Don’t expect the same compassion being a man.
With all the hype around addiction amd psychology on this thread diet and fitness is often overlooked. You know the stats 60% of the adult population is overweight or obese. The number one killer is heart disease. Diet and fitness is extremely important and often overlooked despite the clear negative risks.
I honestly would welcome my wife helping me stick to my diet. But if it got to the point I was doing great on my own and needed to sneak a candy bar that would be a problem.
The issue is obviously not your weight but your wife is controlling and manipulative. She just wants you to feel like a piss poor human being no matter what.