My (16nb) long distance boyfriend (16m) and I were in a relationship a few years ago (2019) for seven months before I broke up with him and he moved to a country a couple of months later. He took the break up well originally, but a few weeks later I tried to set a boundary with him and he called me something very insulting so I blocked him. There was also some issues in our relationship but since readding him, I found out he had self-reflected enough to know what he’d done wrong and felt sorry for it, and for the way he treated me after the break up too.
I re-added him in December and we were in a flirtationship for *months* before we became official a week ago. We would talk for hours, VC, and play games together.
But ever since we became official, he’s pulled back. We talk a lot but not for as long, VCs are shorter, and gaming is still fun but a little stressful. Usually I’m very straight forward, and the question in my mind is “do you still like me?” but I know to a neurotypical this is manipulative since he isn’t as literal as me. How can I tell him that I feel like he’s pulling away from me without being manipulative, clingy, or downplaying how I feel?
Him pulling back has made me more insecure, I know I’m not bugging him but I’m nervous to talk to him because he doesn’t seem interested. I feel like maybe I should try and pull back too, but I don’t know how. Our routine together has been to talk for a couple hours a day, and then use the rest of the day to do our own things. Now we’re talking a couple of times a day without saying much. Should I let him start the conversation and see where he takes it instead of trying to carry it myself?
TLDR; Boyfriend doesn’t seem interested in quality time anymore, how do I tell him how I feel?
1 comment
LDR is hard enough without adding in the doubt of whether the person likes you or not, is focused on you or not, is faithful to you or not.
In other words, two people in LDR should give even *MORE* effort to make the other person not feel these doubts.
Since your LDR partner isn’t able to do this, then speak to him about it and come to a solution or compromise for how you can get through this problem. after that, if he still doesn’t make efforts for it, then it’s better to call it done than to make efforts for a LDR where only one person is interested in trying to make the relationship continue.