Okay so three days ago I just turned 17 and then yesterday my friend just asked me out and I said yes after a bit of thinking. So now we are dating but these last few days have been a roller coaster for me, but last night made me question if dating him is the right thing. He hasn’t done anything wrong and he’s respected everything with my boundaries and opinions on this whole dating thing but I’ve never dated anyone before and I’m so confused. I also have BPD and I feel like I’ll just ruin everything since I’m borderline. Last night I had (I think was) the worst panic attack I’ve had in quite some time and it was about my relationship with my bf.
I also think that I might be asexual, I’ve never really thought about sex in a relationship before since I’ve never been in one but he kind of talks about sex quite a bit and that made me think that maybe he’s hinting at sex but I’ve told that I don’t want to do that until I’m 18 or 19 and he’s respected that really well but now I’m thinking I don’t want to at all and I don’t want to disappoint him. And I think me dating him isn’t the right thing but he told me that he’s liked me since we first meet and I don’t want to hurt him but I also don’t want to give him false love. What do I do and should I just wait a little bit longer with our relationship to see if it’s what I want?
TL;DR- I just started dating one of my close friends and I don’t know what to do or if I should continue dating him
1 comment
I dated my close friend and I couldn’t sleep at night, kept thinking “is this real life?”, questioned if I even liked him that way and was convincing myself that I don’t want to be with him romantically or sexually. I felt guilty and regretted it all. But 4 years later and we we’re still going strong. I loved him truly.
It may just take time for you to reflect on the whole situation. It’s definitely a hard adjustment from being friends for so long then suddenly being committed. Make sure you communicate throughly on your boundaries, relationship expectations and comfortability. If you’re a virgin then I think you may also be overthinking the sex part which is causing you to be nervous. But if you truly aren’t interested in sex definitely do not give in and be open from the start.