This sounds like a strange issue, but it is for me. We have been together 8 months and i don’t want to make a breakup more painful. I feel as though i need to make a decision soon. Personally i don’t look very much at someone’s body to date them, it’s more about personality. The way that she is a tomboy makes me feel like i’m hanging out with a mate when i go and see her. She also has issues with not wanting to touch me or act like a girl ever. She says things to me that from a mate would be joking around, but from a girlfriend it is just straight up rude. It makes my life stressful and i don’t know how to explain it properly. Has anyone been in a similar situation or has some advice?
3 comments
You don’t have to explain specifics.
You guys are just not well matched romantically and that’s really the only explanation needed.
we were matched amazingly for a while, and i was completely head over heels for her, but now she’s just a very different person than i think i want.
Sounds like you might have an idea of what you want a girlfriend to be and what her to change.
My advice is to think about why you would make the choice to date her in the first place if she isn’t someone you want to date. Did you think she would change when you started dating? Was you assumption that most women change when they get into relationships? If so why would you think that? Most of all, realize that any assumptions you made aren’t her fault.
If she’s genuinely hurting your feelings, then have a conversation with her about it honestly, but if you’re expecting her to act like your “idea of a girlfriend,” better, get a therapist so you can unpack that expectation, figure out where you might have developed it, and learn how to grow past it.
Going forward try not to date people if you don’t like the way they behave or dress. People are who they are, try not to date because you like the idea of having a girlfriend. You also don’t want to date someone expecting them to change – date the person in front of you only if you like who they are right now.