Hey y’all, I (21F) really need advice regarding a guy (21M) I just started dating.
So basically, I’m a college student. Recently, this guy from my hometown named Marcus transferred to my university. I always had a little crush on him growing up but I never had the chance to talk to him much. When I found out he transferred to my university, I dm’d him on Instagram and we started texting.
Over text, he seems super interested. I mean, *super* interested. Lots of compliments, very engaging, asks me a lot of questions about myself. He’s mentioned things that he wants us to do in the future such as going to local restaurants, upcoming concerts, etc. For the past week, we were texting 24/7, day and night.
Four days ago, he asked me to hang out. To be honest, I was surprised that he invited me over to his house because he had talked a lot about wanting to take me on a real date (i.e. sit-down restaurant kind of vibe). Since he only lives about a 3-minute walk away from me, I went anyways. When I got there, he wasn’t very talkative. Honestly, it was like pulling teeth. I felt like he rarely attempted to initiate any kind of conversation with me. When I asked him questions about himself, he’d respond with very short answers and wouldn’t reciprocate at all. His seeming lack of interest made me feel awkward but I figured that he was just nervous. We kissed when I left but I truly thought he’d never hit me up again.
To my surprise, I woke up with a bunch of messages from him the next day… making jokes about things I had said, telling me I was beautiful, talking about places he’d like to take me on a date. He invited me to his place again the next night but I declined. He invited me again the following night and I agreed. Once I got there, he introduced me to his friends and roommates who were hanging out in the living room. However, he didn’t talk to me one-on-one much at all and seemed to be more interested in his friends. So, I left, feeling kind of rejected again.
Well, the same thing happened. I woke up to tons of messages with him asking me about my job, my classes, compliments- the same thing. He asked if I could come to my house that night and I agreed. The same thing happened again- he didn’t ask me any questions in person or seem interested in me at all when face-to-face. And of course, I woke up to lovey dovey messages again.
I haven’t responded to the messages he’s sent me today because I’m ready to throw in the towel. I don’t understand why he acts so interested in me via text and not at all in-person. Should I address this with him or just call it quits?
2 comments
Tell him how you feel. Tell him that when you’re with him in person you don’t feel like he’s interested in you at all. I’m sure he’s not noticing it, probably because he’s super nervous
Some people may just be different over text vs real life. In text I can be a lot more outgoing than I would in real life because I feel more awkward talking to people face-to-face. It could be that he’s nervous or feels awkward. You could ask him about it, or see how it goes and try to see if he can open up more