So this guy and my friend have been friends for 11 years. He calls me his best friend, we mostly only talk about video games and anime and stuff. He messages me a lot and I message him a lot.
But I often times become surprised when I don’t know what is going on in his personal life, like him getting a girlfriend (he claims he told all his friends at the same time), and him switching jobs.
He was the only one he ever told when a person in his family died though.
Now that he has a girlfriend, the talking back and forth has slowed down a lot, but a lot is because I’m going through a depressive period and dumped a lot on him.
Right now I feel the only time we talk like we used to is when his girlfriend is busy, and I feel used.
Am I really this person’s best friend? Am I being used?
1 comment
Cold harsh truth is a) they don’t owe you details about what they are doing and b) they don’t prioritize interacting with you.
Also, A “best friend” is a rare thing in life. A best friend to somebody is a friend who not only knows the person well, but is in proximity to that person and outstandingly provides for multiple needs of that person and is irreplaceable in doing so. The person’s constant availability online/offline to the best friend is a result of the best friend providing for them. The truth is it is hard to be a best friend, if not outright impossible. At 18+, people start moving away, which violates the proximity requirement. Furthermore, people’s lives are separate, not codependent. People start to prioritize other things including work and family and more local friends. The cold hard truth is that long distance friendships, while existent, are not at the top of people’s minds.