(Throwaway Account)
I (F30) was in what I now realize to be a situationship with a guy (M38)— we dated for almost 8 months, did everything couples do, but after asking 3 times over the course of the relationship, he never made things official and called me his girlfriend. I never met his friends, never put in effort, never complimented me, disrespected our relationship by telling me inappropriate stories about his exes, and he never took care of me. Heck, he barely took care of himself even though he’s a lawyer (no credit cards, no retirement account, lack of ambition, didn’t clean his home, etc).
We ended things in April after I realized I wanted more and he realized he couldn’t give it to me (he even said he didn’t feel himself developing feelings of love). We both said we’d be open to being friends.
Two weeks later, I texted him and he responded. Every 1-2 weeks after, I would text and he would respond, but they would be very basic, simple, non conversational texts.
That all changed in mid-June. I texted him and he was conversational and there was more back and forth. The next day, I asked if he felt ready to meet up in person for drinks, just to catch up. We met up at a bar and we hung out for hours. We never talked about the relationship, but we just talked and had fun. We met up again a few weeks later in July and same thing: hours long time together at a bar just talking and enjoying the company.
But ever since our that text in mid June and first meet up shortly thereafter, he’s been texting me every other day, if not daily. Unlike when I texted after the breakup, he’s been the initiator of most of the texting.
He admitted during the relationship and confirmed after that he keeps tabs on his exes (he doesn’t talk to any of them except me and one other girl that he was friends with previously, but dated for two months, and she’s married in another state. There’s one more that he only texts on her birthday), that he looks them up on FB even though they’re not friends, and uses a secret Instagram account to check up on them.
I’m just confused what his daily texts mean. They’re not flirty texts and they’re all pretty innocuous. Is it just breadcrumbing? Keeping tabs? Is he bored? Keeping me around as a backup?
Tl;Dr: ex texts me daily and I don’t know what it means.
2 comments
Depends on the context, but I feel it’s more of a “call” (cough).
More important question, what do you hope to get out of this? Whatever his intent may be, you need to be clear on your own. Just because he may be interested in you again for sex, friendship, relationship, someone to talk to, doesnt mean he’s suddenly become better “relationship material”.