I (22) have been seeing my fwb for a little while and he asked me my fantasy so I told him I wanted to have sex with multiple guys at once. It’s one thing I want to do before I die, kind of a bucket list type deal.
Anyway he’s making it happen.
I’m both excited and nervous but I do know my fwb and one of the guys who will be involved so I know they aren’t going to let me get hurt.
What all should I know besides lube and not going back to front?
47 comments
Protection. Lots of it.
Talk to them, tell them what you want and don’t want as you go along. Get the best out of this situation
I can’t say this enough be sure everyone is playing safe by getting tested and or using protection. You want to remember the experience for good reasons not bad. Have fun!
>What all should I know besides lube and not going back to front?
Condoms. Lots of them.
Birth control for you.
And if you can swing it, negative STI tests from everyone.
NO PHONES. i’ve seen this ruin many girls lives now she gotta move n shit
Having not participated in one myself, but having written a lot of fanfics…just make sure you know everyone involved and have trust with each person. It may be different for you, but I personally wouldn’t want to get into a circle of men I don’t know and get fucked without at least establishing a safeword. Make sure you have plenty of water on hand – sex is really exhausting with one person, I can’t imagine with multiple – and probably have snacks, too. Take breaks, talk, make some jokes, and have fun. Don’t get too nervous. You have the reigns. HAVE A SAFEWORD. Use it if you feel like it’s going too fast or too far.
Good luck 🙂
Safe word/if any of you say stop, everyone must stop.
Communicate where everyone will “finish”. I always tell people mouth or tits only. Is anal on the table? Make that known. DP? Humiliation? Rough? I will make a list and make everyone sign lol
I see you are making a list. I suggest someone not involved to be security and make sure if you tap out; it’s done.
I wouldn’t suggest it even as a bucket list item but if you do decide to do I strongly advise you drive yourself there or take an Uber/taxi/Lyft. Do not under any circumstances get a ride from someone you don’t know.
Everyone has said everything you should be worried about. Now just have fun. You will be sore thoigh, so make sure you schedule for the next day or two off. And dependong on what you are into, make sure your fwb is there for aftercare. If he comes through with aftercare, he is a friend for life.
If you can get to a big city I would recommend Crossbreed, Torture Gardens, Killing Kittens. These are all UK ones, but are kink friendly. First two are LGBTQ friendly. DE has some great sex clubs if you can get there.
The environment is safe and everyone is there with some kind of sexual intention.
Boundaries!! No cellphones!! Oh and fun & pleasure! Lots of pleasure!!
Who is going to have your back when someone is being rough, or you want to take a break? Men can get a little weird with other men competing over you.
Probably your fwb.
Also think about meeting the other men in person with no sex involved. To see if there is chemistry. What if you don’t like the guy? Do you want to fuck this person.? Expectations are weird.
Make sure you aren’t too intoxicated so you can speak up
For after: freeze a banana. Put a condom over it. Your kitty will thank you afterwards. I had a train ran on me and that helped my cervix and everything feel better.
If I’m having sex with multiple guys, my partner doesn’t get to participate at the same time as everyone else. It works for him because he likes watching me, but it’s also for safety reasons. He can see things I can’t and make sure everyone is following the rules.
Also, depending on how many guys you want it can be hard to orchestrate. Schedules, people get nervous, sometimes they can’t perform in the moment, etc.
Make sure everyone is aware of ground rules and if anyone has a problem with them ask them to leave. If you’re uncomfortable tell them to stop.
And be sober, make sure your friends with benefits is also sober.
Don’t overthink it. If you’re not 100% comfortable when it’s on, back out. Otherwise enjoy. I found it much easier than expected the first time.
Not to sound like a spreadsheet, but basic rules are a must. And since you fwb seems to be the one organising, he should contact the guys with info about what is and is not acceptable. You do NOT want to have THAT conversation when all has started. Is DP ok? Double BJ? Sex toys? No bonding, just a silk scarf or a bit more? Are you ok with being blindfolded? What are the guy’s expectations? Real life is not porn, but some guys just don’t get that. How much closeness is comfortable for the guys? If some are into m/m action and others are not, it has not been expressed beforehand. Trouble otherwise. At least two safe words. One for “not perfectly happy” and another for hell no/it hurts. Some gesture for your fwb to let him know you want someone out of the game. No drugs. Glass of wine or 1-2 beers is ok, but no liquor and none of you can be drunk. And yeh, std tests, condom or it’s off. NO PHONES.
But mostly ENJOY!!
Bottles of cold water and a safe word should be given for everyone to know if you or anyone feels uncomfortable with anything. No questions ask.
We’d be very interested to hear how it goes afterward! Best of luck that everything is amazing.
Given the rise of monkeypox, my advice would be don’t
Username checks out.
lol report back
Have an idea of what YOU want.. don’t be afraid to say no. Enlist your two friends into helping you stick to the plan. Also.. no alcohol or drugs. Enjoy this on its merits.
Privacy (a phone locker),
Condoms (enough for at least 50 goes),
STI tests,
Birth control options.
Basically do what the porn industry does in preparation of large group scenes.
A concent list that everyone signs off on and adheres to. It’s good to set boundaries n rules of engagement.
Clean/New toys, sheets, towels, clothes.
Free access to showers either before and after.
A kind of check up chat before and after to make sure everyone’s ok and everythings ok.
STI results since last sexual encounter, condoms.
No recording what so ever the first rule second rule everyone should be tested and commonsense
How many guys?
Bring lots and lots of condoms. Leave phones in another room in a bowl. Establish a safe word. Talk about boundaries in advance. Bring extra toys.
Make sure the guy you trust most can moderate other dudes behaviors and make sure they aren’t crossing your boundaries.
Water based lube. Also bring lots of water bottles.
I was the fucking idiot who didn’t bring lube to a mfm threesome (I’m the woman). My husband was like “you had one job….” 😅
Drive yourself
And make sure this is a space that you set up. We don’t want any weird shenanigans.
Most importantly, have fun!
A safe for the phones keep the key on a bracelet u never take off only naked dudes can enter the room so they can’t have a spare phone in their clothing enjoy that dick!
I guess my question and point of discussion for these guys is do you want to be spoiled or used?
In my most successful 3er, I made sure that the other 2 people were always doing something. I’d speak & say touch this or do that.
Other 3ers, were just like free for alls & it happened so much that 2 people were interacting & one was left on the side.
Update after please.
You don’t need to jump right into sex
Some hanging out casual chatting & drinks & food will really help feel slightly more comfortable
Think about it again. I would do everything I could to stop you. Worst decision in my life. Changed everything for me and my relationships. We were both fully on board and it ruined everything! Just think long and hard and play it forward in your mind. Sorry, guess I am the odd man out here but I guarantee many people responding have not even done it.
Have a guy or two you trust most keep an eye that the guys don’t take off the condoms. That happened to a chick I knew. She couldn’t keep an eye on who was behind her and he went in raw.
Lots of great advice here. Something I have not seen mentioned. Ask your FWB if he has had group sex before. I have had 3 MMF threesomes. 1 was great. 1 was meh. 1 was awful. Jealousy during or after can absolutely kill the vibe. Even if he is organizing this, I would discuss with him how he is feeling about it. That could avoid pitfalls later.
1) Make ground rules. What is on the table? Are creampies on the table? Condoms only? Anal sex? Same-sex play between the other gents?
Get STD tests from everyone before. Smell tests as well. Getting fucked like a slut is great fun but it must be a SAFE environment. Consent consent consent.
2) Safe-word.
3) Men have 2 holes, 2 hands. Women have 3 holes, 2 hands. Spit roasting is pretty common – one guy in your throat and the other in your vagina and/or rectum. Double penetration is when vagina+rectum are full of cock. Air tight is for women with mouth+vagina+rectum.
Do not forget about other positions! Oral and hands. Oral and rimjobs. Fucking and rimjobs. Multiple cocks one mouth.
4) Watch out for cross play contamination. This is especially true during anal sex. Ass to mouth is real problem (or real treat) among bareback male gay sex.
5) Hydrate before. Pee after. And do not take things too serious. This is not loving sex – this is usually animalistic fucking.
6) People will tap out and watch. Communication keeps things lively! Talk, engage, and do not let anyone feel leftout 🙂
I met one of my loves at a gang bang. I met her face to pussy not face to face.
Enjoy!
Use lube. Don’t use spit.
Honestly, a backup plan if people refuse to listen to the safeword. I’ve heard too many times in MMF’s where everyone ignores the safeword and play it off like “oh I didn’t hear you”.
It’s one of those “oh that will never happen with us” things but it’s still absolutely something to at least consider.
You talk about no back to front, but someone will probably try back to mouth since they do it in some porn.
Monkypox
*girl who does gang bangs here*
I would look up consent circle and do one beforehand.
Water and snacks.
Have a set start and end time.
Thinking about how you want to start. With a massage? With the FWB, does he go first? It can be fun to pick a way to start.
Can anyone bring viagra? A lot of dudes are not gonna be UP for the challenge of group sex. They can chew it for faster acting results.
For a first gb you might want to have everyone ask if they can do ___ before doing so. Like, can I fuck you now, will you blow me, etc.
A good non-verbal safeword is the double tap. Double tap the bed or the arm or whatever. If one guy is tapped everyone stops.
Think about what names they can/should call you.
What is off limits. Can they go down on you? Pull hair? Spank? Eat your ass? Eat their ass? Cover the whole spectrum of things in the consent circle.
In addition to STI testing, you should consider making sure everyone has a negative Covid test.
You should know it’s ok to lurk reddit during the breaks.
Source: I’m on a break
Maybe have wet wipes and mouth wash available.
To recontextualize one of the more common suggestions: designate a stage manager, someone who will run the “show” and make sure his lead performer is fully taken care of to give her best “performance.” Keep the attendees in line and on task, behaving and sharing. Playing security if need be, while also not letting any of that activity distract the performer. And calling the end of the show when its time.
How to know someone works in event production without saying they work in event production.
I just wish I would’ve known more back in the day when I had 3 men at once ! It was awesome but more like a gang bang! Which was ok too, but like 2 men at once is sooo much better! Especially when your getting it in both holes at once and when those 2 cocks touch each other cuz they are both fucking you at the same time……..OH MY. GOSH! That gets me every time!! Shit!