I (29m) have this crush on my friend/coworker (26f).
We’ve known each other for a while and only just recently i started developing somewhat of a crush on her. We are very friendly with each other and there are some signs of subtle flirting.
Idk if she is seeing anyone, i’ve heard bits and pieces about an exclusive fwb but that was weeks ago and she doesn’t mention it.
I don’t want this feeling to fester inside me and make myself strange around her. So i was thinking, regardless of what the answer is gonna be, to just ask her out for a cup of coffee or something.
I’m gonna be good either way, but i feel if i don’t say anything i’m just opening myself up for a world of pain, i have experience in that lol.
EDIT: Yeah so for anyone still looking at this post. We randomly got talking about relationships.
Well soy she is single but not really, she has an “exclusive” fwb and apparently she somewhat “cheated” on him yesterday. Also she has outright said that she does not want a serious relationship in the foreseeable future. So wether or not she changes her mind on on the relationship part isnt up to me. I dont need to bother. Remaini g normal friends is enough
15 comments
Personally, I prefer getting rejected to the not knowing. It sucks but having a solid answer is preferred. However, as you work together, asking her out could be weird if things don’t work out.
Better to have known and lost than to never have known at all. You’ll spend time thinking about whether she would’ve said yes and potentially regret not knowing.
Ask her out for a coffee.
If not, you’ll get to know it right there. Also, even if she is unavailable or not interested, having guts to ask her out will earn you a score. She might become available or interested later.
Just don’t take offence and if it is a no, be playful and respectful. My favourite response if a girl has a boyfriend is “oh, he is lucky bastard!”. Which is a compliment and defuses the tension.
IDK, maybe you have a common friend you could ask for advise? asking her out for coffee or something like that sounds like a good idea
It’s definitely better to ask her out than do nothing, but the problem is a lot of guys have no idea how to ask a girl out and come across creepy and robotic. The best suggestion is just to ask her to hang out at a designated time and then let her do the mental gymnastics to determine if it’s a date or not. The mystery is attractive and it’s less pressure on you
Not when it’s a coworker. And certainly not when she’s seeing someone already. When it’s a coworker, I would recommend that she has to be practically asking you out on a date for you to try to date a coworker. Not just being friendly and subtle flirting. Even if you aren’t awkward about it when asking or after, you can still make her feel uncomfortable – or worse – in a place she spends most of her time. I get that you don’t want to have regrets, but some things are worse than regrets like losing your job because someone felt you were being inappropriate with a coworker. Plus, isn’t this the same woman who is a self-described party girl who left you on read for the past four days when you were about to ask her out the last time?
The problem is the fact that she’s your coworker and if she isn’t into you like that it could be awkward later at work. Imo you should be pretty close to 100% sure they are actually interested if you’re going to ask out a coworker
Ask her out. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Ask her out istg
Yes. definitely ask her out, but not with this attitude (even if its just to get rejected). If you want to give it a try for real and if you really want to open yourself up to a world of pain, you need first to change that.
Go there believing that you got a chance with her, otherwise it’s like learning how to swim with the lifejacket on…
Don’t do it, you might end up creeping her out
I always prefer knowing, even if it’s a no. There’s still one girl I liked probably 8-10 years ago that I still regret not telling.
Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.
If you think she is going to reject you, the game is already over.
Your are going to be just another fwb. If that’s what you want go ahead and ask her out