Hi Reddit. I (34 female) and my husband (38 male) have been together for 12 years and have two beautiful children ages 4 and 2. We don’t have the perfect marriage but I thought we were happy with one another. For the last year, however, he has been very rude to me on a regular basis. I thought it was because he was losing respect for me as I was a stay at home mom. I then decided to get a job. But even since then, his rudeness did not improve. A few weeks ago, my husband went out with friends while I was home with our kids. When he came home, I was trying to fall asleep and so I didn’t announce to him that I was awake. He got on the bed and started texting his girlfriend thinking I was asleep. That’s how I found out. I gathered some of my basic essentials and my kids and left to go to my parents. The sad part was he wasn’t even apologetic. I have had a number of conversations with him since and he just seems not to care about what he did. He just insists that he wants to be a part of our kids lives. It’s been horrible. I don’t know how to proceed even as co parents because I have so much pain and anger. He has basically ruined our lives. Also the country we live in has no alimony payments. We would have to sell all our assets, which I’m not sure is the right decision for our kids. Ex I think we should rent out our property instead of selling, etc. Please help on how you think I should move forward.
19 comments
Get a divorce lawyer to advise you.
I’m so sorry, he is a total asshole, he can’t even show give you the slightest empathy or guilt for doing what he did. What I can say is, you’re still very young and can still find a new partner if that is what you seek down the track.
Do not let him make you feel insecure about yourself, or question your self worth, you’re so worthy of happiness and to be loved and he cannot provide that to you anymore.
I’m not 100% sure what you can do with your assets and such, have you considered talking with a lawyer that specialises in divorce and give you advice on how to separate. I liked your idea of renting the house out and both finding separate places to live away from one another.
Big hug, you can get through this – you’re so much better than he ever will be. Wish you the best of luck moving forward.
I’m sorry for the loss of the relationship you thought you were in, OP. So sorry that you lost your friend and partner.
My hope for you now is that you will get angry enough to move on without the hurt you’re feeling now.
Find an attorney and do what’s best for you and your children. Never let him back in your life.
You need legal advice a.s.a.p.
Couldn’t care less. Could care less means he cares.
He’s obviously checked out of the marriage. He should have asked for a divorce. Cheating is never the answer. That said, there’s no coming back from this if he’s done.
Get a lawyer and evidence if you can and think if the kids first.
You need legal advice. I was about your age when my husband cheated. I got divorced at 37. If he was willing to cheat on you, he was willing to risk losing you. Protect your assets.
I hope his dick falls off.
Get a lawyer, OP. Take him for everything he has and then some.
He will be a part of kid’s lives , on 50/50 shared parenting arrangement.
How often did you have sex before?
You probably mean “couldn’t care less”. Saying that someone could care less implies they care, even if it’s just a little.
You never have to sell your assets. Lots of people simply go forward with their stuff.
Co-parenting is very hard especially with betrayal like this. But every time you get to feeling angry, frustrated or sad you’ve got to remember the kids best interests. Nobody’s perfect but try to do your best by them. Chances are, if he’s that callous and can throw your family away like that he won’t stick around in your kids’ lives very long either and you won’t have to put up with him for long. But you also don’t want to accidentally hurt your kids because he hurt you. Having a father, even not a very good one is better than having none at all. The temptation to keep them away from him will be great but in the end doing that will only hurt them and have them resent you.
I’m so sorry this happened, my wife cheated on me and took our kids, and was and is the most painful thing I’ve dealt with.
Take the high road, do the right thing and life will deal punish him, though you may never see how.
well his lack of remose is kind of a favor, it shows you that there is no reconciliation here, no use in trying to save your marriage. He’s checked out
Did you ever cheat on him at all in your relationship
I think you mean couldn’t care less. I’m assuming that you are trying to say he doesn’t care at all. So by saying he could care less that mean he actually care a little. Saying he couldn’t care less means he doesn’t care at all.
Either way sorry about this.
Talk to a divorce lawyer and coparent as peacefully as possible
Just found out my gf cheated on me so yea. It’s tough. Let’s get through this.