Hello everyone. I originally posted this on r/relationships but they removed it and told me to post here instead.
I have been with my SO for 7 years. We have a great sex life, always have and it only got better with time.
About 1 year ago, talking about sexy stuff, we came to the realisation that we share the fantasy of having a three way with another girl.
From there on, we have started watching 3some porn together to live the fantasy in a “safe” way, we talk about it and share ideas and all.
Everything is fine and we love it. The problem is that the more we engage in this, the more we feel like we would like to do it for real, but we both have our own personal (and shared) concerns.
I am posting here because I would like to read about what kind of experience couples have had with this. Good and bad.
Like how it was bad or good for the couple, if it made things worse, better, etc.
We know the general “risks”. We don’t want to know statistics etc. We are interested in real stories from real people.
I feel like knowing a bit more about the possible outcomes could help us decide whether we want to actually try it or not.
Thanks in advance.
I hope it’s the right place to post this now and that I am not violating any rules.
TLDR We want a 3some but can’t make up our mind about it cause we are a bit worried about the possible consequences.
3 comments
My ex and I seemed to follow your path of interest abd came very close to going through with it (had stumbled upon a female friend of mine that was interested as well).
Timing didn’t work out and the relationship went south for a plethora of reasons, some sexual.
Biggest advice is open and honest communication, be clear about your actual interest level vs it as something that just turns you on when you’re horny.
Sounds like you guys are off to a good start this way, keep it up.
Have you tried to use the search function, because ffm questions are asked every day
You seem to be aware of the risks. If you decide to do it, here’s what I think you should do to prepare and when it’s actually happening.
Talk (in a good bit of detail) in advance a few times about what kinds of things are acceptable and where the boundaries are. Be sure you both understand them and DO NOT CROSS the boundaries (unless maybe if the person that set the boundary very explicitly says it’s alright to cross it at the time). People sometimes change their minds when it becomes reality about what they’re comfortable with, so it might be a good idea to set up some kind of signal or even a safe word to use if either person wants to stop or at least slow down when things are happening. And even if you do that, you should both look for signs that either of you is getting uncomfortable and stop and discuss it if so. You want to be sure that both of you are 100% sure about doing it before starting and 100% comfortable with continuing it while it’s happening. I think that’s your best chance of avoiding problems.