What is the most white-knight behaviour that truly makes you umcomfortable?

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  1. When people try to put words in my mouth like “what I think she meant was”. No, no, no, I fucking said what I said, all questions can be directed to me.

  2. The strop that they have when you don’t throw yourself at them for “defending your honour”

  4. Men I don’t know being gentlemanly (hmm) and letting me walk up the stairs in front of them when I’m wearing a short skirt or shorts. This usually happens with repairmen in my house.

  5. The co-opting of the label “white-knight” for a man who attempts to call out sexist behavior. I mostly see/hear this label being thrown out by men and often it’s when other men are simply treating women like human beings or calling out objectionable/sexist behaviors.

    Edit: a word

  11. Insisting on walking me to my car. No one has insisted on this with good intentions so stop pretending you are protecting me.

  12. Speaking on my behalf because I didn’t answer right away. Like I don’t care if you’ve known me my whole life you don’t under any circumstances speak for me. I have a voice.

  13. The absolute worst is when a man defends a woman from a misogynist and other men call the defender a “white knight” for acting like a decent human being.

  14. When someone interrupts/stops telling a story to apologise for the profanities being used in front of me.

  15. Offering to help you and not backing off regardless of what you say. My cousin is very beautiful and often has guys offering help left and right in an effort to get in her good graces – except they keep offering when she says no. And keep offering. And keep pushing. It’s basically a thinly veiled “let me get close to you”, and they won’t take no for an answer. It’s extremely disrespectful

  16. Any time a man is speaking for or “defending” a woman and he gets extremely possessive. And you can tell that he’s more offended because she’s HIS, and it’s therefore disrespectful to HIM, than he is concerned about her feelings. “That’s MY fucking WIFE,” “don’t talk about MY wife that way,” “keep my wife’s name out your fucking mouth!” (This is basically the quintessential example of this behavior in pop culture tbh).

    I think a lot of women are actually attracted to this on the surface, but it bugs me deeply now that I’ve realized how it really serves the man.

    In contrast, I had a really shitty conversation with my dad recently where it got heated and he was questioning my professional decisions. My dad’s a contrarian and loves to lecture, so if I say “I’m doing this,” his first reaction is “no no, that’s wrong” — even if he would say it’s right under other circumstances. Drives me batty. My husband sat back and let me stand my ground until I was getting basically bulldozed. He finally “stepped in,” because my dad tends to respond better to men (eye roll)…. but what he said was “Hey. She’s doing an amazing job, and her performance isn’t up for debate. You may not agree, but it isn’t your career or your life. We’re both extremely happy with how she handled the situation.” It just… felt different. I didn’t need him to go all “That’s MY wife, back off” macho macho mode. I felt like a teammate, not a possession.

  17. There’s this guy at my work who is really a good dude, but sometimes is too “chivalrous”. A couple weekends ago we were at a coworker’s wedding, carrying our chairs up to the reception from the service. I heard him behind me asking if I wanted him to carry my chair. First off, no. But I turn around and the dude is already carrying at least four chairs on his own. Kinda insulting he thought he could carry five, but I couldn’t carry one?? He really is a nice guy, but benevolent sexism like that is a red flag.

  19. Men I don’t know we’ll or at all taking things I’m carrying out of my hands after I tell them I’ve got it.

  20. Ugh I have a story for this one

    I used to work in a brothel, I did quite well and didn’t mind the work at the time. One day a very rich (now ex) friend offered me money completely unprompted. I thought maybe he wanted sexual favours but he claimed that wasn’t it. I declined stating that I don’t take money I haven’t earned then few months later he offered me a job.

    He claimed he’d pay me whatever I ask to be on call 24/7 as his personal assistant (he ran multiple businesses)
    i was about to start working as an escort for an agency making upwards of $500 an hour, I would have barely had to work but he swooped in with this incredible offer of training me in his field and flying me around the world I thought I may as well take the opportunity.
    Seeing as I was about to make so much money I set my price pretty high but then shit got weird.

    He offered me a personal assistant job, but instead of filing paperwork and organising meetings as he promised I spent each day cleaning his apartment and tending to his increasingly ridiculous requests (drive 14 hours to pick something up, organise mtg cards, fix an aircon etc)
    THEN he decided he’d rather only pay me half of what he promised for the 2 months of work I did and that’s when I quit, there was no contract or anything so had to cut my losses.

    I chalk this up to a white knight complex because on multiple occasions he tried to “help” me financially and tried to give me an out of the s3x industry neither of which I wanted or asked for and it actually ended up screwing me over I couldn’t afford rent or food for the month after and lost the chance to be with the agency.

  21. All of them I am no Virgin in danger. Most guys even realise this and treat me like a dude. I like that.

  22. My least favorite is if a boyfriend and I are having a disagreement or even just bantering. Here comes the hero who is trying to save me. I even got a text message once after a couple of us went out. “Your boyfriend shouldn’t be talking to you that way”. Says who? You? I’m good, my boyfriend and I like to make fun of each other a lot.

    I really just hate when men try to defend me while also belittling me. Specially in an online disagreement. I can defend myself.

  23. I’m 5’2″ and have never been over 127lbs. I like physically demanding jobs because it makes things go by faster and helps my depression. I constantly get asked if I need help with something heavy. Once had a dude watch me lift a 70lb box onto a conveyor belt and the clap when I got it up there. I gave him a dirty look and he stopped coming near me, so I count that as a win.

  24. My husband can do all that stuff for me.. order my food/drink without asking me? Sure thing! Open the vehicle door for me? Well thank you! Offer to carry the bags of stuff to our destination? You’re amazing!! We’ve been married nearly 10 years and he still does all that and more for me. If it was a first date and the guy tried to do that I’d probably.. have to go to the bathroom and not go back. My hubby and I met in high-school. He was there for me in the hardest parts of my life. He knows me more than I know myself sometimes. He has always been my knight in shining armour. The only things he could possibly do to make me uncomfortable, he does on purpose, because we need excitement in our lives lmao.

  25. When I’m outside a hotel loading my stuff up and they walk up and start grabbing my stuff to “help,” me. Nah, that’s how shit gets stolen and guys then they you owe them something. Or what happened when I was 12 I was out for a walk and guy in a utility van offered me a ride because it was too cold I declined multiple times and he kept saying he was trying to be nice 🙄like why would I wanna get in your dirty as van with you being a stranger

  27. When they pick up a fight with stupid, often mentally ill, men who call you name in the street.

    Look, it isn’t nice, but it isn’t worth picking a fight. Ignore it and move. Plus, most of the time it doesn’t bother me. I do not care that drunk stranger in the street call me a B. ?

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