I have had a great relationship with my in-laws since day one. They welcomed me into their home and family as if I was their own daughter. When needed I could always spent the night. I did trips with MIL alone, had great conversations with fil, they included me in all family activities. To be honest, they’re really friendly and kind people. My now husband and I have been together for 9 years now. Married for 2.
Then I became pregnant and everything changed. MIL has been 1 housewife her entire life, FIL has retired a couple of years ago but he has many projects. MIL spends most days alone, walking the dog, knitting or preparing food. As you can imagine, she had big plans with her first grand child.
It started when they were making an issue about the fact that we didn’t want any visitors in the first 2 weeks. It was unheard of, they have a right to see their grandchild, they need to bond with him and so on.
Then they rescheduled their ski trip because it might fall on my due date and they don’t want to miss the birth of their grandson. They want to be there the moment he’s born. We once again stated that we do not want any visitors within the first 2 weeks.
I needed to be induced and they knew and offered to take care of our dog. We accepted and my husband made clear that he would bring and collect the dog.
After birth them pushed to bring our dog home, just drop her off and leave. We accepted because they seemed genuine. Well… They stayed for over 4 hours. Needing food, coffee, tea, wanting to hold the baby, joining me when I went to another room to breastfeed as I was not comfortable yet and so on. Something snapped that day. The trust was broken. 7 months later and all they want to do is spent time with the baby but not help out. They gave us a gift card for a romantic weekend with 2, offering to take care of baby. We’ve never been gifted such thing and don’t want to leave baby for a night yet. It’s all very pushy.
It seems like they have a lot of spare time on their hands and our baby needs to fill that gap. They’re well into their 60’s, but are still very active. Still, the initial trust has been broken for me and I have no idea what to do. Husband tells me they aren’t doing anything wrong and it’s entirely my fault to feel this way. So.. I’m at a loss.
1 comment
Biggest problem: your husband doesn’t have your back.
He should have pushed them out when they brought the dog back. He has to set boundaries.
Sit him down and tell him in very clear words that you feel violated, and he needs to step up.