I have been together with my girlfriend for about 2 months. At the start of our relationship, we were crazy about each other and texted each other almost all the time. Our replies were also very enthusiastic and filled with cute emojis. Fast forward to last week, things started to change. Her speed of replying slowed down (she would take around 1 hour to 3 hour to reply). I can understand if she’s busy, but most of the time shes just using social media, such as Instagram where she’d post stories or tiktok where she’d send me tiktok clips. I can also confirm that she’s been replying to her friends group chat frequently. For example, her last message to me could be at 1200. But from 1200 to 1400 she’s constantly replying her friends group chat. I understand that she has a life of her own, and I am not entitled to receive her replies as soon as she sees them, but it’s the thought that she would prioritize her friends and her social medias (instagram, tiktok) over me that hurt me. Especially when she mentioned before how she would consciously reply ppl who are higher on her priority list asap (she mentioned this at the start of our relationship as she told me she’s a bad texter, and i asked how then was she able to reply me almost instantly everytime, to which she gave the ans above). Am I no longer her priority? Have she started to lose interest in me? I am currently anxious and feeling really sad right now. Can any kind soul enlighten me if what I’m feeling is justified, and if I should have a talk with her about this? Or should I just convince myself that everything’s okay?
Tldr: girlfriend started to reply slowly after 2 months into our relationship, and ignored my texts when she has free time.
For some context: she’s has had a very stressful week (about a week ago due to her essays submission) and told me the reason for her lackluster replies were due to her being burnt out and from being too stressed. But, her replies to her friends seem to be normal and enthusiastic… so I have no idea if her reason is in fact the truth.
7 comments
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. She may be losing interest, so you two need to have a serious discussion and sort out where your priorities are with each other
It sounds like you aren’t a top priority for her anymore. It shouldn’t be too surprising that you are less important to her than longstanding friends, given that your relationship is very new. Personally, I would try not to worry too much about it. Doing so will probably make you worse company, and it may well not be an ill omen. Just try to enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts.
>and if I should have a talk with her about this?
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>and told me the reason for her lackluster replies were due to her being burnt out and from being too stressed.
It sounds like you already talked to her about this and she gave you answer. But I guess it wasn’t the answer you wanted?
You are spiraling. Hard. This relationship is 2 months old and you’re completely falling apart. Your anxiety over what appears to just be a “tired girlfriend who isn’t up for performative texting with her super needy boyfriend” is going to be the thing that keeps this from getting to month 3.
I strongly suggest you do whatever you need to do to get your anxiety in check. And if you can’t do that, then after this relationship explodes, you need to REALLY do some research into how to keep your anxiety in check in the future so this doesn’t become a recurring theme.
Dude, she’s still replying to you, she just has her own life too. I think you need to be careful not to smother her.
You sound needy. That is one way to push her away. Let her be her without you freaking out. She already told you she’s a bad texter.
Maybe ask her what is up and if anything has changed between you and her and just come out and say it ? I’d ax her whas sup ?
You’re being too needy. It’s pretty typical to be talking and spending a lot of time together as a new couple, but that usually cools after a few months. That’s normal because it’s also not sustainable to be texting every 5 mins.