So my fiancé and I had a baby a month ago. I’ve been dealing with postpartum depression and an array of mental issues. Also one of my best friends committed suicide 2 weeks before I gave birth by jumping off a bridge. So I’ve had difficulty being able to function properly. I have been grateful that my fiancé is a great father and has been taking care of our son. He was out in the living room with our son while I was catching up on sleep.
Well I find out he was out there talking to his ex about what if they would have worked out. He said he would have liked that. Then he also was complaining to her about me as a mother. I am humiliated. I can’t understand why he did this to me. He has me looking so stupid. I 100% trusted him. I am in disbelief.
From what he has told me about her before I gather that she was only using him and never cared about him at all. She left him because she didn’t think he made enough money. She was demanding that he buy her a house. She would nag him daily about wanting to have a threesome. She wouldn’t stop trying to talk him into it. She made it clear she wanted 2 guys, and he wasn’t enough for her. So I can’t understand why of all people he goes and talks bad of me and talks about what if they were still together.
He said it was a mistake and he’s sorry. I just can’t get over it though. I’m so hurt and angry. I try constantly to push it out of my mind. I have a doctors appointment to get my medication figured out for my mood swings and mental issues. I promised I’d get therapy, but the appointment isn’t until tomorrow. Just since last week he’s broken up with me like 3 times and told me to leave. Then he takes it back.
I love him. He has been my best friend. We used to be so happy and perfect together. Just ever since I got pregnant things have gone downhill. I literally only got pregnant to make him happy. He said he wanted kids. I would have never done that with anyone else. I never wanted kids. I love my son though, and I’m happy he’s here. I just want to live a happy life with my fiancé and our son. How am I supposed to get past this? My memories have no concept of time. It will always feel fresh in my mind no matter how much time has passed.
3 comments
Take care of your mental health first and worry about the relationship second. It sounds like there is so much going on and nothing will even begin to work until you get yourself sorted out.
That being said, I’d be pissed at my spouse if this happened to me.
The way of getting past betrayal is your partner needs to make the effort to regain your trust & ensure you that they’re there for you. Unfortunately you caught him chatting with his ex, putting you down & he’s threatened to leave you 3× in a week. These aren’t things you just accept. It takes time & patience & working together as a couple.
Whether your relationship gets better or not, please focus on your mental health. Your son is your priority now & needs his parents to be in their best shape. You’ve been through a lot & you should make sure you get to a place where you’re managing the stress & anxiety & depression. It takes time but it’s very possible.
They betrayed you once so nothing else really matters. Tell them they can stick around if they want, but you’re going to invest your time, money, and energy into other people. They’re there to serve you now, they are second or they can go betray someone else, even themselves.