how to dominate my partner?

6 comments

1. Maybe start with a little light choking, slapping her ass, grabbing her arms/hips/etc. tightly and see how it goes! Also, check out r/BDSMAdvice.

2. Does she know it’s gonna be your first time? Honestly I wouldn’t do anything crazy on your first time, it’s more important to be comfortable. Try to be smooth about and tell her it’s your first time and you really like her body so you want to take your time and explore it or something.

   That said I’ve been with quite a few submissive partners and what I like to do is say some dirty stuff. In doggy spank her and don’t hold back. Hold her down by her neck or pull her head back by her hair. In missionary choke her or lay close on her and hold her hair, etc

3. Start slow with what you’re comfortable with a build from there. In doggy for example, hold onto her arms, her hair (grab at the scalp not the ends that hurts), flip her around like she’s a doll when you’re repositioning, smack her ass and tell her to be louder/quieter, tease her with it and when you give it to her make her say thank you, hold her face and tell her to look at you, only choke if you know how to safely, pin her arms whenever the opportunity presents itself so she can’t move easily or touch you.

4. The range of ways to dominate someone are infinite and best sorted out through discussion and trial and error.

   Essentially it’s about power balance.

   A key element is for the dom to be confident and decisive.

   Some common soft dom sub play is restraints, blindfolds, light verbal abuse, spanking, sub on their knees.

5. Dominance is more in the attitude than in what you actually do. But some easy stuff might be hair pulling, soft neck choking, slapping ass or pinning head down while on pronebone. Also be in control in every position, be it for oral or piv, if she gives you a bj make her do it on her knees, even try to control the motion by grabbing her hair.

   You’ll get there with time. Also be sure to talk about it before and after to make sure what she is into and what she enjoyed more/less and would like to push further.

6. You need to have a talk with her about limits and preferences before you meet for sex. The internet is going to give you a million ideas, but she is not going to like everything and you should NOT try anything without knowing she wants it. She may just mean that she wants to be pinned down/tossed around, have her hair pulled, be spanked, etc. But she might not want to be choked or spit on. She might want to be verbally commanded to do things or she may want to be physically FORCED to do things.

   You need to talk to her and find out what she’s interested in and not interested in. You can literally just list acts and she can answer with “yes” or “no.”

   Once you know the things she wants, you need to embrace your inner animal and just let yourself loose on her. Just don’t cross her established boundaries and you’ll satisfy her very well.