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9 comments
Do men who are conventionally repulsive die alone?
went on a first date. Was supposed to just be lunch, we ended up wandering around the city for 4 hours, then got dinner and watched the sunset from an overlook. He spent the entire day being super kind, responsive, it seemed like he was having a good time. He even asked if he could visit once I travel back to where I go to campus. I hinted about my schedule next week, he asked me to text him when I got home.
He responded positively to my first text the next day and it’s been radio silence since. (2 days)
I’m assuming he’s ghosting me. I’m just surprised because it seemed like it went well? He asked for my social media, friended me there, friended me on Venmo. Hasn’t blocked me on any of that or unmatched from the dating site.
At what point do I accept that this just happens? Would it be weird to text again, and should I comment on him not responding or not?
Vent: the guy I had been dating for 4 weeks told me he’s not ready for a committed relationship and with our schedule, it’s very very hard, but is open to keep seeing me and would like to be friends. We’ve never had sex by the way.
I said I don’t kiss my friends, and he responded, so you’re just going to drop me? I said, well yeah.
Part of me couldn’t hold back (I was feeling annoyed), I felt somewhat revengeful because he wasted my time. So I’ve been playing him back. I have made it sound like we can have sex. He wanted to see me yesterday but I said I was too tired, he wants to see me today.
He wants to catch up after I finish at the gym, I’m literally tempted to meet up with him near my gym and say, so our schedules are so busy that you could easily meet me yesterday and you have no problem seeing me today, Thursday or Friday all because you think you’re going to get laid? Then laugh at him and walk off.
He wasted my time, so now I’m wasting his.
Vent: I dont get many dates so when a girl actually wants to meet up, i get excited and hopeful. Met someone who responded fast and we quickly exchanged numbers and scheduled a date. Date was pretty simple, just walk, talk, and food and it lasted about 4 hours. I thought it went pretty well and felt we both had a lot in common. Its been 2 days since then and her response is dead, i assume im ghosted. I try not to get hopeful after just 1 date but my brain cant stop thinking about it and i cant help but feel ill never get into a relationship sigh.
Vent: Why does it feel like guys on dating apps these days are so…different? I feel like before the pandemic it would be very clear whether there is a connection (consistent communication, planning dates, flirting, etc. orrrr ghosting and clear no spark). Now I’ve found myself in so much grey area these days connecting with guys that are so-called “introverts” and just don’t really communicate that much. Perhaps they don’t really increase their investment until there is a reason to do so. However, not hearing from someone for 4 days and then having them pop up ready to plan a date is so confusing for me. If I don’t hear from someone every day at least once, or perhaps every other day I assume they’re not interested. But lately, I’ve been seeing guys who just don’t text but what to date and see each other on the weekends. IDK….am I being played? I’m trying to not overthink things and just “experience people” for what it is….but that’s hard.
Had my first date in a while yesterday. Girl off dating app, we texted for a week but very little and kinda dry and suddenly she asked me out yesterday morning so i figured what the hell. Idk if it was awkward cause we basically just questioned each other like i normally would through texts first, you know what’s your job what do you like to do blah blah boring shit like that but we had a lot of awkward pauses until one of us thought of something else to ask.
She’s also foreign so IDK if just cultural or language mixup. I did get her to laugh some but overall was just awkward and quiet and ended awkward so idk if i should take that to mean we just aren’t compatible if I’m only considering asking her to meet again cause I’m lonely and haven’t met anyone else in a while or if i should give it more chance to see if we were both just nervous the first time around.
Vent: Canceled on 5 times in a row, then ghosted, by a guy I was in a casual “relationship” with for 1 year. I traveled 3 hours to see him and was staying with a friend (I used to live in the area). He has sole custody of 4 kids, and even though I don’t want kids of my own, I like kids and admired that he seemed like a caring father. He initially offered to help move my friend out of her apartment last Saturday. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he kept offering – suggested lending us a truck and everything. Then, when I told him I was coming up that Saturday, he said it was a bad day for him. So I rescheduled for the next week. My friend and I eventually moved her stuff out on our own and it was fine.
Then we made plans to see each other on Wednesday – he told me he was free on that day. He talked about going to lunch, showing me his new place, yadda yadda yadda. I primped, waxed, bought some new clothes and toys, and tried to make myself look good. Then Wednesday rolls around. “Sorry, I’m with my cousin/godson (not his actual son) and working in the yard.” I asked if I could bring him lunch or a snack. “No, you don’t have to do that,” he said. So we rescheduled to Thursday, and he canceled again. “Sorry, I’m rearranging my house.” Rescheduled to Friday. “Sorry, kids are sick.” No responses after that. Then I let him hear it via text since he wouldn’t answer the phone. I understand that emergencies happen, but this many hangups in such a short period of time? And after you kept asking me when I’d be coming up to see you (for booty) after we hadn’t seen each other in a year?
I also heard through the grapevine that I “reminded him of his ex (apparently we look alike).” Why couldn’t he have shut this down last year if that were the case? I let him hear it again via text and blocked him. I’m done dating for a while, and while I’m sure there are some lovely single fathers out there (I’m the child of divorce), I don’t have the intestinal fortitude to go through something like this again. I got played, fell for his BS (he sounded excited to see me before I actually got up there), and it’s all my fault. I heard through the grapevine that he wasn’t cheating, but just wanted to have fun and didn’t have time. Well he shouldn’t have suggested that I come up this week “to have fun”, made promises he couldn’t keep, and then canceled so many times. Just no respect for other people’s time. It’s time for me to be a hermit and focus on work, I’m done with this.
Got myself a date with someone who I would have thought out of my league, first date since my last relationship ended almost 2 years ago. My last date was over 6 years ago. Proud of myself for even getting this far, trying to break my walls down and get myself out there. Wish me luck!
I’m kind of upset at the lack of godly men in my area. I’m in the south and everyone goes to church but going to church doesn’t mean you’re a man of God. It’s just kinda frustrating