Messed up the 2nd date. Figuring out a way to reach out. NSFW

Last week was a whirlwind for me. After phone calls and facetiming, I (40m)went on wonderful 1st dinner date followed by a hot air balloon ride at night with a (37f) I met on bumble. Made out on top of a balloon. Then while we’re driving home she texted me that her car broke down. I went back to where her car stalled. We called towing, made out some more while waiting for the truck I even massaged her legs Decided to drive her home 25 miles away while the tow truck drove the car back to her place. We got back to her place and we made out some more. She told me to stay but I didn’t want to have a crazy commute the next day. Got home at 3am. W then went to work at 8am. I was tired.

That afternoon, I helped her with the logistics of fixing her car. And learned there was a recall. And she was grateful I helped. She asked me what my plan was for the weekend, I said I’m doing this and that on Sunday and Saturday, then she asked, what about tonight? I said no plans. Then she said, we’ll you have plans now, come back down here and take your bike so we can hit the trails before sunset and do a bonfire. And I was just so excited even if I was tired.

Went to her place and we started drinking some alcohol. Had some shots, seltzers. We biked, went to a mexican restaurant then drank some more. Granted there’s food in our stomach now so that made me less tipsy. During the duration of dating / communicating with her, she always asked the hard questions but that night, she asked about my divorce last year. Long story short, she said that based on my lack of eye contact and how delivered my story that I wasn’t over my ex (34f) but that isn’t true at all.

We went back to her place, decided to watch tv, we went to her bedroom to watch it, but obviously ended up making out. In my head I was like oh fuck, I’m not gonna rock hard for this. So since I was also horny and was completely attracted to her I ate her out like there’s no tomorrow. She tried going down on me, but I said “it’s okay” (I know bad move) but that’s because I didn’t want her to keep trying while I couldn’t keep it hard. She tried mounting on top of me, but I lost my erection when we were trying and she wasn’t that wet. Fast forward, we tried it a few times. There was even a point she made out with me in the middle of the night to try it again. But when I was touching her, she said, it’s okay, you can stop, if we’re not having sex I just feel being teased. It’s only fair for her to say that but I’m also low key crushed.

But here’s what made it worst, my big, tired and drunk mouth opened up on my issues in bed with my ex. FML. That yeah, I used to take some performance helpers in bed, had a bad habit of porn usage and at this point, she handled the situation with, omg you need to work on yourself.

The next morning, she posted a pic of our bikes on her IG saying “it’s a good day ❤️ “ the rest of the morning was a little disconnected. She made me coffee I asked her if she want to talk about it and she said, “let’s just call this what this is, a 2nd date.” She ended up picking up a 20 mins phone call to talk about random stuff with her brother while I was there which thought was a little rude but whatever.

I went home at noon, and we haven’t chatted since Saturday.

She disappeared on bumble. Left me on her IG, I made a comment on her story and she liked it. But nothing since.

I really like her and she’s not a ONS or hook up for me. There’s so many things we connect with. What can I say when I reach out? How can i fix this mess? Even tho my friends say she could’ve handled that better too.