Like talking to people on the bus or in a park bench or in a elevator or in a store. I really want to start conversation with strangers but I don’t know how.

24 comments

  1. I don’t have any tips to say but here’s a small advice.

    Talking with strangers is a good but difficult way to improve your social skills and confidence but remember to read the person before approaching them because not everyone will welcome chatting from strangers.

  2. There’s actually a different technique for that situation than if you’re at an event where you’re expected to talk to people. So in a Total Stranger Situation, the best way is to drop a comment. It doesn’t have to be a fascinating comment, just something that is clearly meant to be shared.

    E.g. “Wow, sure is CROWDED on the bus today!” Make eye contact with the person. Smile warmly.

    The beauty of this system is that the comment is tossed out as an OPPORTUNITY for the person to respond. But they don’t have to, and could choose not to. They might just smile back and say nothing. But, if they’re inclined to talk, they WILL grab onto that comment and say something themselves!

    But it’s a No Harm, No Foul situation. If they don’t prefer to talk, they’ll just let it go.

    You have to say it fairly loudly (a bit more than conversational), but not too loud that it seems like you’re “aiming” it at them. Say it friendly, and be sure to have a big smile. If they don’t respond, then don’t pursue it. You were just making a friendly remark, that’s all.

    That’s how it’s done. Used correctly, you will get in conversations with people who ARE willing to talk.

    Good luck!

  3. compliment them on something and see if their response is welcoming or not. If not, no harm done but if response is warm then keep going.

  4. How was their day, Ask their name, where they from( if they out of state ask which state the likes better why, difference). Do they stay with either family, what they do for fun. Some ppl would actually ask interesting questions if they interested in the conversation.

  5. I think the tip should be about 10% of the conversation and it be paid in Euroes instead of dollars

  6. I always fuck around and say stuff like “it’s meee” all emphatic. That will start a conversation.

  7. when i wait for the bus i might vent out loud or say something to a stranger about how long it’s taking. or i’ll tell them how much time until it arrives if they also look visibly impatient.

    whenever i end up in convos with strangers it’s either me or them just saying something really general usually a complaint about how long a line is or how hot it is out where the other person, if they feel like talking will tack on.

  8. Don’t overthink it. It’s not a big deal to say something random that doesn’t make any sense, and really, that’s the worst that can happen.

  9. People always love talking about the weather to me. So I guess that’s a good ice breaker.

  11. A crazy scenario is always a good one to break the ice.

    Also a common pain point to get them to agree w you is a good one. Keep it light but creative. Don’t be the boring person that’s repeating what we all know.

    – oh the wait is always so long at DMV.
    Instead
    – hey when the staff come is there a faster line for them at DMV? Secret password?

    We all want a break from ordinary. Be different. (In good non-weird way)

  12. My go-to is always a compliment if I’m trying to start a conversation with someone who is not of the opposite gender. For example, I’m a cis woman, and I wouldn’t compliment a cis man to start a conversation because it can easily be misconstrued as flirting, same goes for vice versa. But I always use compliments to start a conversation with a woman.

  13. In public with strangers you always need to give them an easy option to end the conversation whenever they want. Nothing worse than being cornered into a conversation because you’re too polite to end it.

  14. I start with a complement like « I love your dress ! The colours match well with your hair » and maybe graduate to a acquainting talk

  16. Ask for advice. People are usually happy to give it out. And it’s a relatively “normal” thing to ask a stranger.

  17. I think a good way is to notice their non-verbals as in — maybe they have a pin on their bag and it’s of a band you also like. You can use that as a conversation starter. I once approached a girl who was wearing a string bracelet and said something like “oh, my sister used to make those!” And it sparked a nice conversation.

  19. I usually see something they have and make compliments or ask questions. Like tattoos, a jacket, a pet, etc. Same goes if you thi k they lile to fish or exercise or if your looking for a good gym.

  21. Be curious about other people and seek advice from those who appear to have knowledge of what you’re asking. Be genuine, otherwise it comes off as overly friendly and fake.

    At a new ice cream place and the line is long? Does the person behind you look open to potential conversation? If yes, proceed. “Hey, have you been here before? This is my first time and I’m having a hard time trying to pick. To be honest, it all sounds really good!”

    Also, this can be used with just about anyone. Older people. Couples. Adults with kids. To be honest, I find it easiest to make small talk (when I’m alone) with a couple. It can be a potential way to make friends tbh. I can say so from personal experience. It’s a non-threatening situation on both ends because clearly there’s no possible romantic intent. Keep the conversation to light, situational topics.

    Often in couples, one person tends to be more “extroverted” than the other, but make sure to keep the one who seems quieter feel like they’re still a part of the conversation. Unless they show clear signs of disengaging from the conversation.

  22. Where do you live??

    Cause randomly talking to strangers gets serious side-eye here in nyc.

    But the best way to talk to strangers is to give out compliments. “Oh my god I love your shirt, where did you get it?” “Ooo that dress is such a gorgeous color!”

  23. One of the things I find helpful is to compliment them on something! Had a cool person in the store o work at the other day, and when they came to the register I told them I loved their tote bag!! (It was really cute). They said thank you and told me about the artist who made it. While I checked out their books, they talked some more to me and said they loved the store and were excited for their books

    We didn’t talk long (bc I was working lol) but I find that giving them the opportunity to talk about themself/ showing them that you are interested in them (not necessarily romantically) is helpful

  24. You could help them if they are struggling with something – like helping someone pick up what they have dropped.
    Also, asking questions makes things easier.
    Why is the bus late today?
    Where did you buy that?

    Or a general discussion about the weather and current affairs.
    Many people have done this with me.
    I remember having conversations with them which have grown into friendships.
    Observe first and, if the person seems friendly, give it a try.

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