My boyfriend (M25) and I (F22) have been dating for 5 months. Everything started off great as we were still in that “honeymoon” phase. We understood each other and we loved to play around and make jokes, it was great. I’ve never felt how I feel with him. But recently things have been going downhill. He made a comment about me getting a bit chunky a few weeks ago and I agreed with him so I started hitting the gym. Every weekend that we see each other he has something to say about me. I usually would shrug it off because he sometimes plays around like that but then it started to get too frequent. He would ask why I wore crop tops. Or would poke fun at my double chin. Even would joke that if I get more chubbier he’ll leave me. I’m not obese. I’m 5’4 and my weight is at 162 compared to when I first met him which was 150. He makes it seem like I’m morbidly obese and it hurts every time he “pokes fun”. Today was my last straw, I finally told him to apologize. He saw a picture of me that I posted and said “babe you have big ears and your double chin is showing, there’s nothing in that picture I can say looks good.” He laughed it off at the end and stated it was a joke. I got quiet and a couple seconds later he said he had to go home. I told him “wow so you’re just going to leave without apologizing?” which he responded by saying “I have to leave now, what am I apologizing for?” It hurt even more that he didn’t find what he said offensive or even recognize the fact that I was hurt. I shrugged it off and said “okay I love you bye”. He left and hasn’t texted or called to apologize.
4 comments
Emotional abuse. Dump the dickhead. Both men and women are capable of this shit. If you want to go to the gym to get in shape do it for you, not some random fool you think you “love”. Abusing you emotionally. no one deserves to be hurt like this on such a personal level. And it’s way worse when it’s by someone you are fond of.
He’s not gonna apologise. I promise you he does not love you and is actually contemptuous of you because of your weight. Likely in it for the sex and because “slimmer” women won’t look in his general direction. I can guarantee it.
He sounds like a fucking narcissist. I would get out because it’s just going to get worse.
I’d really look at that relationship see if your in it for the long run cause that sounds fucking terrible. I feel like more you stay there without saying anything to him the worse it will get which cause a huge unnecessary stress in your life. He should motivate you if you want to go to the gym not belittle you and call you names.
He’s a bully and power tripper, this will only get worse. If you lose the weight he will find something else to pick on, that’s what bullies do.