I don’t just mean pleasurable either. I mean sex that is so intimate and so pleasurable that your soul leaves your body for a split second and when you return you can’t help but spit out the words, “I love you.”
Been fighting with your spouse a lot? Do you think you might have a mental breakdown if they leave their unrinsed cup by the sink one more time? Feeling disconnected and a little put off by them in general?
I’ve found that taking time for some real non-sexual physical and emotional intimacy can be a serious game changer in those situations. It makes me a lot more patient, and I’ve noticed that in my husband too.
Intimacy doesn’t always lead to this earth-shattering sex, but sometimes it does, and I’ll roll the dice on that one every time. It’s a win win regardless.
Sincerely,
A very happy and satisfied wife
**Edit for typos
32 comments
We never have sex, does Masturbation count? Lol
My husband and I used to take baths together, it was such an intimate experience. Sometimes it led to something more, sometimes it didn’t. Regardless, it was definitely a unique, intimate experience that we both deeply enjoyed. It was a great way to unwind and relax.
I am and always have been a big advocate that sex is one of the most important tool for making most marriages work. My wife and I are both pretty aware that if life gets busy and we start getting snippy with each other we need to plan time for some solid intimacy. I agree with you totally OP.
I so wish I could get her to realize this lol. I so agree. It can put so many things into perspective afterwards. Some of the little annoying bullshit just goes away and you realize like…oh right, that’s why I fucking love this person. Fuck everything else, I just want to be with you right now.
I’m jealous!
Agree 100%, sex can be marriage medicine.
I have found this to be 100% true.
i hope it lasts
Almost every time we have amazing sex she goes into this *your wish is my command* and anything I ask for she will make it happen in that moment lol, I think the most Ive ever asked for was a gatorade, and she came back to the room with snacks and the gatorade in a frosted beer mug lol I love it and shes amazing.
Of course it is!
Crazy I see this post as this last week Thursday my husband and I finally had a huge fight which was just bottled up resentment from both of us, dealing with a crazy toddler, exhausted, running on fumes…we’ve lost our connection. We have no time for just us. At the end of the fight, we more or less said we both need to put in effort and try our best to reignite that spark. My husband then passionately kissed me, slid his hands up my nightgown and felt me all over…we’ve now had the most sex we’ve ever had IN YEARS these past few days. One night was 3x alone, which we’ve NEVER done. I’m all giddy this morning now and can’t stop thinking about him…sighs. This advice works OP!! At least for me!!
This is where we’re at with our evening showers. The chaos of getting my daughter to JUST LISTEN for five minutes and put away her toys and go pick out PJs – it’s all a tornado at the end of the night and it can stress us both out pretty bad. She gets her evening snack and can watch a few videos in the living room just so my wife and I can breathe for a moment.
Then we get in the shower together and fool around. See my post history for details – it’s a great way to cap the night off, especially if you’ve both been having a few drinks and are in the mood.
Great sex is awesome, but don’t use it to hide from other issues. Rinse the damn cup AND have great sex. That’s the best.
Ah, I miss being newlywed.
Sounds good IF sex, physical pleasure is “your way to love”.
Not for me, I don’t find pleaso to give myself to someone who just dismiss all my daily work, leaves cup, clothes, bottles everywhere showing a lack of respect for my house work. Then at the end of the day “I pleasure him to connect”.
Sex for some is the result of being well treated, a way to manifest a connection that happens between the couple.
I know some women can also do as majority of men do, physical pleasure separation from feelings, I discovered that I cannot. Would be easier if I could, would be better if I could just use the physical touch from whoever hands is to “release stress” 😉
Pleasure and respect is earned, I cannot give myself when feeling disrespected.
Disrespect kills love.
I once read something in an article about advice for couples. It basically said to maintain an active sex life and this part got me chuckling – its hard to stay mad at someone who gives you orgasms.
I never feel closer to my husband than when we are having consistent sex. And he feels the same way. I agree with this whole post, OP.
Ugh yes. I love this. I love our intimate, healing moments together.
hell yeah. reading shit like this gives me hope for modern day monogamous relationships in the wake of how technology has destroyed monogamy in many many ways. It isn’t just the sex. its the emotional commitment. equally important to sex imo. Its communication, with oneself and our partners. Next time you pull for your phone, to pull up one of your digital “chatrendships” ask yourself “am I pouring my emotions into the right place for my partner and myself?” You may find answers there.
I totally agree
Truth
Yes whenever hubby starts getting an attitude I know it’s because it’s been awhile and he isn’t talking with his right mind. But I hate having to checklist sex, like a chore but if I don’t it’s like the end of the world.
It’s a great way to get rid of headaches and is a lot cheaper than taking drugs.
God bless you.
One of the biggest downfalls in my marriage is when my wife became uninterested in sex. It has been a struggle to keep the marriage as happy as it used to be ever since she lost her desire to be physical with me. When you are 24 and you’re out meeting girls at bars or whatever it’s just about physical gratification but when you are married or even just a long-term relationship it is part of the connection. You cannot have that full connection without the physical connection.
Such a great post. I think my wife is starting to realize it’s good for our overall marriage as a whole to have good connecting sex
“Love heals the body. Look at any woman on
the day after she was made love to by a man
she adores, and who adores her too. A man’s
body might register a difference, but a
woman’s body literally transforms in ways a
man’s does not seem to do. Our breasts, our
skin, not to mention our faces, are filled with
some voluptuous spirit. Both men and women
walk a little bit above the sidewalk on days that
follow our better nights.“
— Marianne Williamson
It’s definitely my love language. That’s for sure.
I so agree with this. We had some issues with a Dead Bedroom for a lot of years here. I was devastated. Since last October we’ve been healing and it’s incredible. My depression and anxiety is reduced by like 75%, and the best part is that my husband and I are just crazy close again. The intimacy of love making extends way past the actual act for me. It’s one of the ways I strongly *feel* love.
In my case it didn’t happen btw me and my husband but a colleague from work now i am kind of regretting it
My husband knows that if I’m mad or sad or irritated, his dick will at least make me feel a little better afterwards, and most of the time 100 times better.
OP, you are 100% correct!
me and my husband have been together for almost 6 years and we have amazing sex. we don’t argue very often anyways but sex is great at relieving stress.
we do something we call skin to skin time. we usually do this every night. we cuddle together either entirely naked or just with our shirts off to feel each others skin and just be as close together as we can be and the intimacy of that is honestly heavenly. sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes it leads to sleep lol but either way its my favorite type of intimacy.
I agree ☝️