So I was raised by religious parents who harped on waiting till marriage. As a young person I subscribed to this. As an adult I moved away from this idea deciding I’m never getting married. I didn’t have sex until my third relationship. We were together 7 years. She was amazing and took her time. Taught me everything. I feel like we had a very high sex life and over the course of 7 years we did a lot of stuff obviously. We separated but remain friends. While I’ve only had one partner I feel confident to be a good lover/sex partner so I’ve been putting myself on dating sites for obvious reasons. So I matched with a woman and she was very ready to go. We talked about how many partners we’ve had. I don’t believe in lying about this. She told me hers was 40. I told her mine was one. I wasn’t bothered by her number at all. She got very judgy and told me that my number was a red flag. That it wasn’t normal. It made me feel so bad. Is the fact that I’ve only had sex with one woman really a red flag?
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Definitely not a red flag for me. I won’t judge someone or write someone off based on a high or low number but admit if anything low number would make me feel better since my number is only 3😅
It’s not a red flag, and honestly I never get into discussions like that. It usually ends with one partner feeling insecure
Walk on dude, she isn’t worth a man like you. This is the main reason I don’t ask for numbers, I only care the number stops growing when I’m dating her lol.
Honestly if a woman finds this to be a red flag that’s a red flag against her. Make sure you let them know it’s because you were in a 7 year long relationship and not because you are a weirdo. Decent girls who actually want to date and not just hook up will consider the long relationship a green flag.
She was probably ashamed and decided to lash out. Her reaction is the red flag.
Don’t ask; don’t tell. Now you know why.
She is a red flag and trying to judge you to deflect on her. Run!
Her number a red flag lulz
No it is not. I was in a long marriage and at 37, had only had one partner. Started dating and heard over and over what a great lover I was. I’m sorry she judged you for that, but the number doesn’t mean that much.
It’s her problem not yours, ok
So find other 👍
You dodged a bullet tbh
I wouldn’t accept being judged or insulted based on how many people I’ve slept with. It doesn’t carry any moral weight for me, and it would be a pretty big misalignment of values if someone had an issue with my number.
So yea I’d be pretty put off by this and probably walk away.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with your number.
its not a red flag its a sign that you are not into sleeping around but a commited partenership . Good for you and screw anyone who looks down or remarkes negatively
I was a virgin for many years, and was turned down by women because of that.
I was also raised in a conservative Christian home. Sex was evil and of the Devil, and if you have it, you’re going to hell. Then I went to college which was full of godless heathen liberals who were (gasp!) having sex and doing all kinds of terrible things.
I got older and figured I would never marry and I got horny and desperate, so I told some lies and convinced a girl to do stuff with me at the age of 33. I didn’t feel any different afterwards either. It was like, just whatever.
I eventually did get married at 37 and am now divorced at 46. I’ve only ever been with 3 women including my ex wife.
Sometimes your parents can mess with your head. Mine still mess with mine. There were times even when I was married that I was hesitant to even approach my own wife, afraid of rejection.
Just tell her quality over quantity
I’ve never asked and I’ve never cared what a guy’s number is. That’s because I would hope that he doesn’t care what my number is either.
Sorry you got judged. I think it’s cute when a guy has only had a few partners. I get to blow his mind a little lol
(28m) 12 in 10 years. Dude I WISH my number was just one, better yet zero, knowing what I know now(how sex releases chemicals in the brain that creates nuero pathways/ties that bond you with a person)
Ahaha your righteouness send her bad choice right back in her face. She couldn’t manage it so she try to put the blame on you.
Keep it up champ, one piece of advice, don’t take to heart what the OLD women tell you, like with men it regroup the most unfitted of both gender to relationship. So this kind of behaviour happened.
My last partner told me that her count is 269!!! Mine is less than 20. I was like “WTF”!
Her number is a red flag.
What’s the point in increasing sexual partners?
Just gaining more trauma and risks of stds like hpv and hsv
You can learn to be a great lover with one person.
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Having 1 partner ever is probably the biggest green flag imaginable. It’s a sign that you’re committed and faithful to them.
This person sounds very manipulative and just not someone you want to be in bed with. With that many partners, who’s to say she never caught something that she never tells you about?
And how many times she had sex with those 40? Does she want to compare that with how many times you did with a stable relationship over 7 years?
And the fact that with a sustained relationship, you can actually communicate and improve your sex skills. With sporadic sexual partners you don’t.
Absolutely not a red flag.
The fact she thinks it is, may be a red flag.