Hey guys. So I’ve (16M) been a little stressed about this recently.
My parents just refuse to let me spend my money on what I want. There’s always rules on what I can and can’t buy, what I can/can’t do, etc. I’m not crazy with my money, I have around 600 bucks in my account at the time of typing this and have been working for ~2 months. I have my own bank account. Almost everything I own I paid for myself.
My mom checks my bank account at least once a week. Always has some kind of issue about what I’m buying, no matter what it is. That pair of shoes I got? Too expensive. The clothes I bought last week? I already have enough clothes. The artwork I bought from my friend? Waste of money. I don’t get what the issue is. I admit, I used to be irresponsible with my money, however I’m far from irresponsible now. I’ve spent maybe $400 in the last 4 months. I make enough money to pay for gas, and still have money left over, even after purchasing things I want. Maybe they are just trying to look out for me, but I don’t see it. It’s just weird helicoptering like they’ve always done. (I even have a bedtime at 16 years old, but that’s a topic for another day)
I’m not sure if this is normal behavior or not. Maybe I’m just being ignorant. But none of my friends have this issue with their parents and I don’t know how to approach it. Would appreciate any help or advice I can get.
tl;dr parents believe I am not responsible enough to spend my own money that I worked for
3 comments
Why not prove that you’re responsible? Set it up so you save x% in savings and use x% on gas and expenses and x% on fun stuff. There’s not much she can argue against if you maturely set a budget and stick to it like an adult.
Adulthood is taken, not given, you just have to do things like an adult and they’ll get the hint. Or they won’t, but then you will have savings and can move out.
I love that you’re framing this as an issue that has been ongoing since you were 8. Build trust by showing that you can actually be responsible.
It sounds like you and your parents might have very different views on what your money is for.
You seem to approach it as “this is my fun money, I’m gonna spend it on fun.” They seem to believe you should be saving it, and avoiding unnecessary purchases. And neither side is communicating their expectations clearly. So it might be time for a conversation, where you lay out *your* ideal plan for your money, they lay out their own, and you try to come to an understanding.
Once you’re legally an adult, you can do whatever you want. And that day seems a lot closer to them than it does to you. I suspect they’re trying to micromanage you now because they’re terrified that if they don’t, you’ll have developed such bad financial habits that you’ll get yourself into trouble once you hit adulthood. And the “none of my friends’ parents do this!!” argument is going to fall very flat with parents who are laser-focused on protecting their own kid’s interests. They do not care what other families are doing. You’re going to have to make your case to them without dragging your friends into your arguments.