On October this year, I will move to another city for University. I plan to meet new friends, get a girlfriend etc.. The thing is, I am extremely introverted, and my social skills, since I was born, have been the worst anyone could imagine, and the covid quarantine made them even worse.
My vocabulary is very good though, and that’s why I am good at writing, because when you are organizing written text, you have all the time you need, but when talking to someone, I can’t let him or her wait for too long.
I especially don’t know how to talk to new people, because I very often use some of my expressions that my friends understand, but create misunderstandings for the new people I meet. For example, when I want to show how much I hate something, I usually say: “I hate X so much, that if I was a dictator, I would ban it”. My friends understand what I mean, but other people would think that I am narcissistic, and that I actually think that I am a dictator. Little mistakes like that create big misunderstandings, and create bad first impressions for me.
What should i do to improve my social skills?
3 comments
you should watch charisma on command and similar youtube channels, then practice. sadly the only way to get better at social stuff is to immerse yourself in it. it’s like dipping into cold water, over time it feels better
Everybody is awkward at first when meeting new people, you just have to fight through it tbh, the more you do it the better you’ll get at it. When meeting new people, just keep everything simple. You don’t need your vocabulary to be the most avant-garde thing possible, because nobody will care about that or be impressed with fancy sayings; if you give off good vibes that’s all people really care about tbh. If you’re self-conscious about your expressions giving off a bad impression, keep it simple, you don’t need to impress anybody with your sayings when meeting them at first.
That goes for your social skills too, the only way you’ll improve them is by putting yourself out there and forcing yourself to talk to people. You’re not going to improve them by just watching youtube videos. Yes, it can help and it can give you tips, but you actually need to implement them into the real world if you want results. You’re not gonna improve them by watching a how-to video in your dorm, so go out to the campus events and join clubs/organizations, you’ll find a lot of friends there and it’s a great chance to improve your social skills.
I’m also really introverted and my social skills were bad my first semester of college, but as I went out and met people, my social skills improved and my introversion slowly started to fade away. My ss aren’t amazing, but compared to my first semester, they’re improving a lot, and that’s because I forced myself to put myself out there; even if it’s as simple as getting lunch after class. So just remember that, you need to apply what you learn in the real world to get real results
I recommend joining a human aids organisation of a kind, I did that to simply have a place where I’d meet new people and at first it is a bit awkward maybe, but the thing is that you will have a common goal and most times everyone are really kind and understanding from my experience. It is also a great way to gain social skills and learn to put yourself a bit more out there, to the extent which you are comfortable with