There is nothing wrong with being an introvert I just wish I wasn’t one.
Growing up I’ve always been that person that nobody wants around. Got called weird, ugly, gross, loser and had quite a few racist comments thrown at me. I’ve always been jealous of people who seemed to just stand there and have people flock to them.
I hate spending time by myself and my intrusive thoughts. I spend the majority of the time wondering why I’ve always been an unlikable freak who can’t seem to bond with other people. I’m very quiet, I have nothing interesting about me. I hate TV, movies, music, and pretty much anything mainstream. I’m a very weird woman. I suck with hair, makeup, and clothing styles. I wish I could just be that person that everyone seems to like. Been bullied since I was 3 and hated myself since I was 5. I’ve always felt this way and I don’t know what to do to change myself. Every time I try and do something social I just remain quiet around new people since I have nothing of value to say. Which in turn makes them not like me.
I don’t know how to have fun by myself. I don’t know how to have fun at all. I’m always bored and miserable.
I also have horrible writing skills so please excuse that.