So… quite often I find myself talking about some social problem… and the other person acts “like they want to help”…
But really they are just being hostile and trying to insult my personality.
They will decide a negative conclusion about me, ignore everything I’ve been saying, fix on a few words and then take it out of context, then invent a whole backstory behind it that’s not true… then treat me as if it’s true.
The real problem comes when MULTIPLE people do the same thing.
Then it’s like bullying.
They won’t care if their stories (lies) don’t add up. All they care about is insulting me.
It makes it so that its better to NOT ask for help. Because it is just very upsetting. And damaging.
Its like there are a huge group of people who are determined to NOT see me going anywhere in life. And WANT me to feel rejected or isolated. And if they see me trying to fix it, they are determined to make me feel terrible so that I will “Stay in my shell”.
Also… remember that how you treat someone affects how they will become… especially if they are more vulnerable (like a child or someone trying to develop themself while in an undeveloped position).
I’ve seen studies showing that if you take randomly selceted group of children and tell half of them that they are really good at some subject, and the other half that they are bad at it… the children actually become good or bad at that subject just as they are told.
So if a group of lying idiots wanna tell me that I’m bad at something… its like they are trying to make me bad at it. Espeially if they go around lying about my history and refusing to listen.
It is upsetting. Because its like I CAN be “not upset about it” but then I just need to not talk to anyone about those problems, meaning I get nowhere.
So I either get upset, or stuck but not upset.
I need to find people to talk to who aren’t insulters and liars and blamers.
…
It’s like a loop of hurtness really.
1) I get hurt as a kid/child.
2) I avoid people for that… and it works and makes things better.
3) It makes things harder to progress in certain worlds (work for example)
4) I ask for help on it
5) They say hurtful and upsetting things and lie about me.
6) I avoid them again… and get nowhere.
How do I get out of that loop? Its like people are aware that I was hurt and are trying to keep me in it. A loop people are trying to sustain and maintain by adding more hurts on it.
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7 comments
First-those people dont care about your problems.
Second- evaluate your surrounding and people to whome you are talking with, cause you expressing to the wrong people. They are not your friends.
Third- these type of people just want to have fun on your part and you just a material for them to tease you.
Realy, dont dig more in to those people, they are very simple on the surface and atract each orher with similar mentality. Just ask for help somebody else if you need and better that orher people dont know those people. If you still need to interract with them-keep everything personal to to your self. The problem is -you give them the material to play on your part for there satisfaction, be cold with them, minimum communication if possible. Just buisnes if needed.
These people are not the type of – i understand you, i want to help you, i am interested in you. An these groups of people are every where in every country. Stereotypes.
In time those people and those every problems will be uninportant in life.
Ps. You analyzing enoug deep and are smart to reflect the situation, not every person can do that. Dont get cought in analysis paralyzis.
Most people in the world are not trying to make everyone’s lives miserable.
It could be that if there are a lot of people being hostile and insulting your personality that there are legitimate things to work on.
Sometimes there are beliefs that are holding us back and we get so attached to them that we try and pretend it’s part of our personality, but it’s not. So when someone calls us out/provides feedback about it we feel it is a personal attack instead of someone trying to help you identify a self limiting belief (and in this case you would need the help identifying it because you haven’t recognised it yourself and treating it like it’s your personality). Even if it is your personality, you have a chance to change that. You can choose to be kinder, you can improve your social skills if you’re autistic, you can choose to drop the victim mindset.
I get hostile sometimes with parts of people’s ‘personalities’ like racism, misogyny, ableism, homophobia etc. None of those things are your personality, they are beliefs as discussed above. And they are beliefs that seriously hurt people and thus should not be condoned.
I can definitely see that happening, as a quick check of your previous posts (because it seems like the feedback you’re getting is from social media) includes asking if feminists are narcissists and asking if there are any happy wins over feminism, like the Johnny Depp case. Mens’ rights are important – higher substance abuse, less homeless shelters, higher incarceration rates, no specific DV services I am aware of in my state, less men in caring professions like childcare, nursing and aged care. But mens’ rights don’t overshadow women’s rights and modern feminism is about equality, not women are worth more than men rhetoric.
Calling feminists narcissists is out of line. You’re pathologising an entire belief population with a medical condition. I can fully understand why people would have gotten hostile over that. It would be like everyone interested in men’s health, or men’s rights being lumped together as men who will never get laid, have a partner, be happy and are all certainly rapists who don’t respect women. It’s bullshit, hostile and makes people feel like crap. Much like saying feminists are narcissists.
You can believe that one group needs more attention or help without belittling the other.
So, if this post is triggered by your Reddit feedback, it is not your personality they are attacking but your beliefs, some will be trying to help but you hate the advice because you feel it is a personal attack and so attach more emotion to tit making it an attack when it’s not and some will be fully hostile which is based on their own background and issues, which may have nothing to do with you or have been triggered by you.
Addendum:
Since you’ve blocked me I would suggest this is more likely to be you being extra sensitive and over-identifying beliefs as personality.
My reply has no name calling and nothing hostile. The only slightly negative thing was stating that calling feminists narcissists is out of line. That is calling out a behaviour, not a person. I agreed with some of the things you’ve mentioned in other posts, whilst disagreeing with other things you’ve said, much like many people will (as no one will agreed with everything a person says).
If you’re blocking people for that then this seems like a you problem, not an issue with the feedback you’re getting.
Does this happen in real life? I feel like this is what happens on the Internet, namely on Reddit, all the time.
Not in reality tho
>Yeah. This expeience is so common… sad huh!
>Really, feminists operate on narcissism. Covert narcissism. Only THEY are allowed to be victims. So anyone else being a victim is a threat to them. narcissists are really evil people. It is a huge and complex topic, but once you realise it, feminism is basically narcissism.
>All the projection (blaming others for what you do), pretending to be nice lovely holy people, ruining peoples lives and not caring, inventing whole false histories about other people. Thats all narcissistic behaviour.
>And its all feminist behaviour.
.
[On being rejected from being a escape room admin because he’s very creepy]
>another nice thing we need is the ability to block someone WITHOUT having their stupid shit plastered all over your screen.
>I mean really… I don’t want to read people’s stupid words most of the time 🙂 If i already read 2 or 3 words and can tell the rest is going to be hateful and r*tarded… why do I have to click on it, just to get to their profile just to block them.
The entire “I got rejected from being an escape room gamemaster’ thread is actually incredibly wild.
OP really, really, really, hates women just based on his post history and that comes out in his day to day interactions enough that it makes it difficult for him to even find a group to do an escape room with. So he develops a persecution complex about being stalked by feminists online (he’s talked about this multiple times) who attack him.
And then we get to this post.
>5) They say hurtful and upsetting things and lie about me.
Nobody is lying about you dude, you’re just a garbage person.
Your post history is…putting it mildly – gross. You seem to be one of those people who doesn’t take rejection well nor can accept constructive criticism – so when people call you out on your disgusting misogynistic views on things, you leap to another sub on Reddit and cry “victim”…and it is pathetic.
Based on your previous comments in other posts, it is clear YOU are rhe common denominator. People aren’t lying on you – they are pinpointing your behavior and calling it out … and you can’t handle it
There should be something against reddit’s rules in stalking people’s post history on unrelated subjects, and then insulting them on it… on a thread that has nothing to do with it.
Otherwise you get tribalism and wars. You will get BLM people arguing with conservatives, or religious people arguing with atheists all over /r/socialskills
Its not helpful. Don’t bring this stuff up.
Edit: The more you downvote the more you stress yourselves out and show how negative humanity has become.
Would you mind describing some examples?