Hi pipz,
I recently proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years and she said yes but now we are having problems and informed me she only said yes out of pressure.
I’m not a sweet kind of guy and and don’t plan things. Most of the time I do it by whim. One day I thought of proposing out of thin air in her room. She was so surprised and happy that she said yes.
But now we are having problems and feel like losing her. informed me she only said yes out of pressure. Tells me that my proposal is lame and not the one she dreamt of. Also said I am not listening to her with her request about proposal. That maybe I’m not really interested in her.
I don’t know now what to do with that information. I really love her that is why I proposed. Deep inside I was hurt of what she said and told her if she wants to end things I will go with it. She told me she loves me and will marry me.
I’m not sure about if I really want to go with our relationship. I can feel her hesitation and she is just holding back from going away because she said yes. I really don’t want her to go but I don’t want her to be unhappy just because she got pressured.
Any advice?
8 comments
Any girl who is genuinely disappointed enough about it not being her “dream proposal” and thinks of leaving you for it is probably not worth it mate. I can understand being dissapointed if it isn’t as sweet and beautiful blah blah. But to THAT extent. Now that is just sad. Try to talk to her, explain yourself that it wasn’t perfect but you genuinely do love her and all.
You would show her more love, if you actually asked what it is her opinion about a possible future wedding. That would show that you have interest in what she may think.
Propose to her again… and this time make it good!
You say you are having problems now. What are these problems?
Had you actually agreed to get married in the future before you proposed on a whim?
Neither of you is sure you want to get married, you probably shouldn’t get married.
Im betting she has been dropping hints about her dream proposal for a long time, and none of it stuck with you. Now you, as the proposer, get to choose how you want to propose, but your proposal was lame, and it sounds like you made no effort to make it special or memorable.
Are you responsible for delivering her dream proposal exactly as she dreamt it? Yes, you are. Also, no, not really. You must have heard her talk about it in the past, and while it may not be realistic to have a carriage driven by six white horses and be serenaded by Harry Styles, but the point is that she wanted it to be romantic and memorable. You make your proposal sound like you did it at a commercial break while watching tv, and you probably said “hey babe, you and me, get married, yeah?” Beautiful.
You weren’t paying attention. You weren’t listening to her. You brought no romance to a moment she had so many hopes for. You’re probably lacking in all these things, all the time, and your lame proposal reminded her of this fact.
She wants a do-over. I didn’t think there were do-overs with proposals, but if you want to marry this girl, you had better listen to her this time. Bring the romance. Romance. Be romantic, dammit. You don’t have to deliver everything she wants, but you better do some of it. She wants you to sweep her off her feet, and if you can’t do it, she’ll find someone who can.
Before I found out my partner was cheating,I would have been the happiest woman in the world even if he proposed with Haribo ring. Are you sure it’s just about the proposal? Have you had any other issues? Maybe she’s craving more affection in general?