My dad was a terrible, abusive man. I’ve spent my entire life trying to be the complete opposite of him. However, as I’ve grown older, I notice myself becoming more and more like him in every way…for example, my current profession, which I’ve always avoided because it’s what my dad did. It’s the absolute last job I would have ever imagined myself doing, yet here I am, just like my dad…
Are we just destined to be like our fathers? is dna really that powerful?
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My father was a fighter pilot, killed in Vietnam at age 28, 3 months before i was born. I’m told he was charming, arrogant and a natural leader. Obviously he was also very risk-tolerant, with excellent vision.
I’m 52, a software architect, nearsighted, cautious, introverted, awkward. I suspect he would have been disappointed in me. But I wish I could have met him.
DNA is not destiny.
DNA is not that strong. My father is a mechanic. POS who abandoned me my brother and mom when I was a toddler. As an adult I recognize that kids ain’t for me and while I would have loved to be a father it wasn’t something that came to be. But I have 2 goddaughters that I absolutely adore and while I spend most of my time at work I may as well be considered their father cause I pay for their field trips to the zoo, aquarium, museums, etc.. I buy them books, tablets, games, and literally anything that could get them to love cooking as my passion is culinary arts. The last thing I’d do is abandon them.
Woman here, I am like my dad as well. Imagine being a woman and your siblings are calling you Dad. I am the female version of him, how I think, mannerisms, and my drive. I consider it a compliment because he is a very intelligent man.
My dad died nearly 20 years ago while I was still a teenager. A lot of my memories of him are fuzzy. But I know that I am VERY different from him. By my age, he had four kids, and I have zero. He could never hold a job and lived in poverty; I have a successful career and am very well-respected in my field. He let his mental illness and substance abuse consume him; I managed to (mostly) control my depression and have no substance abuse issues. We did share a taste in music, and I got into Rush and Pink Floyd when I inherited his albums. We also have a similar sense of humor, though mine is a bit darker and snarkier. Those are minimal characteristics compared to the major stuff, though. I have made it my goal not to be like him, and I have succeeded to so far. In a few years, I will have outlived him, and I will probably celebrate that day. Good riddance.
I heard someone say that every man turns into his father at the age of 40.
Not there yet, but now in my 30s I’m like man, I do x, y, and z just like my Dad did. [+]
The older one get, the more I see how I’m like him. It’s not a bad thing. He was a very good man, loved by so many.
Men and women who worked for him took vacation time and traveled distances to be at his retirement party.
I’m hoping to be as well regarded by the people I’ve worked with.
Sort of. I can see the same issues in me, but I know I’ve done a better job addressing those issues and responding, and that I’m blessed (not religious, btw. takes me a lot to say that) for the family and friends I’ve had to support me, at least in comparison to what he went through. I’m made of the same clay, but I’m still a later model. In some ways, I might be a pale comparison to a golden age and in some ways, I can confidently say I’m more of a man than he’ll ever be. But regardless, I’m not like him at all.
Just curious what’s your job??
… I have no idea, never met him, I just take wherever I’m starkly dissimilar from my mom and our family and paint a mental image.
Well, unlike my asshole father, I’ve never beat my wife so I figure that makes me a world of different.