Sorry for the lack of a better term, but I couldn’t think of anything else
Ok this one is different
So my wifes pretty small … does running and yoga, no processed foods etc.
Shes is 5’ 7” and all of 110-115 lbs and we kind of have this thing that I tease her because she’s not the strongest and its something she and I laugh about
I noticed awhile back that she really struggles doing common things like carrying a full jumbo bag of laundry upstairs or when she gardens she cant get the shovel in the dirt when she jumps on it.
Well it became this thing between us because I realized it turns her on and in turn, turned me on.
Now she uses it to get me going like when she asked me to take her to the gym and of course she wears those damn yoga pants and a sports bra, but to top it off she’s struggling to squat the bar with pretty light weights etc. and making noises quietly while doing and Im like…. “We gotta get out of here!”
I just never thought id be into this type of thing
She also like being lifted up especially during sex or during oral if I throw her up on my shoulders
It’s one of those things we never talk about but just do….she’ll make a comment about how she cant lift something because it’s too heavy but now she’ll use it to get a rise out of me.
So now is where the advice comes in
We’re at her friends for a small party and we’re there late having a few drinks and my wife and her friend start going back and forth about who’s stronger. Honestly her friend clearly was, and has about 50 lbs on her, tough to say cause she’s shorter than my wife. Anyway it goes back and forth and next thing I know they’re up and play fighting and her friend throws my wife over her shoulder like nothing and starts spanking her. That did it for me, I was immediately turned on but obviously played it cool like “heyyy okok, you 2 take it easy”
So now that Ive gone down this crazy road with my wife? Should I tell her ? I obviously dont want her to get offended because it involved another woman
I don’t necessarily want a 3some but seeing her friend throw her around so easily like that def turned me on
“Tl;dr” My wife started something between us that I didnt even know I was into.”
42 comments
Guess I’m going to be the weird one in this exchange…
OP, your wife is 5’7″ tall, but only 110 lbs? I have a daughter who is the same height, skinny in her own right but weighs 130 lbs min. I get that we can be talking about different bone structures here, but before you get too carried away with your kink with being able to throw her around like she’s some 4’10” porn star – are you sure that your wife isn’t taking her fitness too far down a bad path of malnourishment?
I agree with most of the comments. Communication is key in every relationship so u should have a talk with your wife about what’s happening and see how she reacts. U mentioned that she lost a good amount of weight and she sounds very weak, are u 100% that she is fine? (Just something I picked up reading this)
We all have fantasies, some weirder some less weird but still fantasies so nothing wrong with that.
She shouldn’t be THIS weak. You need to be strong enough to do everyday activities. At her height, there should be no struggle whatsoever to lift a laundry basket. I’m thinking her eating and cardio use has become disordered. The effects of anorexia are serious and life-shortening. I believe you should have a talk with her. Stop encouraging her and you need to develop new ways to think about her and become aroused by other aspects of who she is. If you don’t, you’re no better than one of those spouses who fattens up their obese partner.
this was so cringy to read
At 5’7 she should be between 135 and 150 lbs. she is probably losing muscle mass.
Honestly, 110lbs at 5’7 is pretty underweight. I’m 5’4, I lift (so I’m moderately muscular) and generally weigh 125lbs, when I was my lightest at 113lbs I looked gaunt but I was still fairly strong (could at least squat BW). She sounds borderline dangerously weak tbh
She probably lost all her muscle mass while losing weight, that is something that should be addressed and reversed since it’s the contrary of what you are looking for when losing weight (the is aim for losing fat, not muscle), not sexualized.
To me it sounds like sort of skinny fetish. I heard about guys being into skinny or even emaciated women. They also loved seeing them struggling with daily activities. Of herbs and altars made video about this topic. IMO when she is still healthy it is okay. However, be carefull because she might want to lose even more weight.
I don’t see the point of this post or the conversation you’re thinking of having. But I’ll comment on the threesome thing since I can see where your mind is: Most of the posts I see on here about threesomes and open relationships started out in good fun but ended in disaster for the couple. I know I personally would end a relationship if my SO even asked me for a threesome. You have every right to ask if you’re thinking of doing so and she has every right to be very hurt by it. Tread lightly.
121-153 is the normal weight range for BMI for a 5’7 woman. I doubt you’d be getting concern trolled if she had gained weight and was up to 163 at that height.
That said, not being able to squat a standard bar is disconcerting for anyone of any size shy of the physically disabled. It’s perfectly normal, especially for very active people, to be below the “normal” range on BMI. It is not normal to not be able to squat a 45 lbs bar.
Fetishizing body control can be a first step down a very dark path. Tread carefully.
5’7 and 110-115 pounds is quite underweight…. make sure she is being safe, she shouldn’t be unable to carry a normal load of laundry, that’s concerning.
She sounds like she has an eating disorder dude..
Has she been to a doctor? This isn’t normal or healthy
Im her hight and skinny at 125, it also sounds like shes a little too weak to do pretty simple stuff, please make sure shes eating good calories arent just numbers added to the scale – its energy
Sounds like she might be anorexic and she needs some serious professional help. Anorexia can be fatal or it can cause permanent damage if left untreated. Please try to get her some professional help right away for her own health and safety.
A lot of people are saying your wife has an eating disorder, which may or may not be true. That is definitely something to look into. **However, even if she were to get stronger or heavier, you can still use this “weaker” roleplay for sex**. What you enjoy is a form of degradation, possibly CNC, and possibly age play. It sounds like she is turned on by being a weaker, helpless person that is being taking advantage of. You will always be stronger than her and you can easily “degrade her” for being weak. Pinning her down or having her do difficult tasks.
Don’t want to be that person but I’m a member of many ed subs and I thought this post was from one of those
As someone who’s struggled with and ED myself, the sexualisation of it is often a part of it. Wanting to be small for a man and getting encouraged in it constantly, if I were you I’d be worried. She might be “plateauing” right now because she’s at a very low weight for her height and from now on the weight loss will be slower.
Just no
Does your wife have an eating disorder? She’s displaying a lot of signs and if that’s the case then you need to try and get her to see a doctor. Her BMI is 17.2 and it should be 18.5+. She’s also nearly 10lbs underweight. This is really unhealthy and she’s sprinting towards health issues if she already doesn’t have them.
You need a doctors opinion but she sounds dangerously underweight.
That being said. You can continue this sexual dynamic if she regains the weight and muscle mass. She can still play the too weak card and you can still be the hero. Just make sure she’s around to do it with you the next 20 years first
Having dated someone who was anorexic, and based on context without knowing her she almost definitely is, you helping her fetishize being small may very well kill her. I don’t think you understand how dangerous these red flags actually are and if I were you I’d talk to someone who really knows anorexia, like a mental health professional, before doing anything. Anorexic ideas stick like wine on carpet. I know not everyone knows the signs, or even why it’s so bad, but look them up and tread carefully.
Not being a professional, if you want to keep the power dynamic of being able to pick her up and toss her around, encourage her to eat a healthy amount (watch carefully what happens when you do), don’t ever mention how hot she is because of how skinny she is, and hit the gym on a routine or get some weights at home so she can stabalize at a healthy weight and your dynamic won’t change.
She clearly had a eating disorder and you using that as a kink it’s not healthy. I hope she gets better. OP is fetishing over unhealthily skinny people. if this girl goes to the gym, runs and does yoga she’d have muscle and carry heavy weight objects shouldn’t be an issue. If she is also extremely restrictive on her food WHILE she does the gym and such, what the fuck. Man if you love her go get her the help she needs because it’s not healthy!!!!!!
I think you’re turned on by the effects of anorexia. She needs help.
Uhm…
“OP that’s actually pretty concerning, have you or your wife checked with a doctor or medical professional to see if that’s healthy?”
“But it plateaued, and also my penis is really into it so I think I’m gonna throw caution to the wind. My wife < my wife’s hole, y’know what I’m sayin’?”
Firstly, it sounds like your wife is either playing up her weakness to get you going, or she may have a true eating disorder. The fact that she doesn’t eat processed foods is a red flag. I masked my ED for years by being both vegetarian and picky. Those “preference” allowed me to have a raging ED go largely unnoticed because anytime someone questioned me- I’d brush it off with claims of wanting to be “healthy”.
I had an ED for 6 years and I was chronically fatigued, had little energy, worked out constantly to stay thin (not to build muscle) and I did yoga, barre, and running. I’d get tired out pretty easily- but even at that weight, I could still walk around, run, and carry things without issue. That’s just my experience though.
So maybe your wife is playing things up, or perhaps she has some kind of nutrient deficiency (possibly iron deficient) that is preventing her system from working optimally. If she is genuinely having these issues though, that’s definitely something to be checked on.
First things first is to get her mental and physical health in check.
**Secondly, if you suspect that she does have an ED- then I would really try and be aware of how your attraction to her frail body incentivizes illness…** I had this with my first boyfriend- he loved how tiny I was, and my knowledge of that propelled me further into my ED. I felt like I’d only be loved and wanted if I was stick thin, and my bf kind of affirmed that belief by showing so much attraction to me when I was sickly thin. Be careful with that.
I’d focus more on her mental and physical health before letting her know that you love how skinny she is. If she thinks that you’ll only love her if she’s tiny, then recovery will be 100x harder (in my experience). Look up symptoms and signs of EDs and see if they match her actions… If they do, this is a whole other puzzle.
Lastly, I get being turned on by it- my partner and I are both extremely turned on by sexual dimorphism. I’m on the leaner/smaller side and he’s extremely tall and built so the size difference and his ability to throw me around is hot af and a mutual turn on.
As for talking to your wife about being turned on by her play fighting- I don’t think that’s the issue. It sounds like you both know that this size difference and weakness is hot for both of you, the real thing to communicate about is her health and making sure that she’s not harming herself with an ED.
Unpopular opinion but if she’s working out, eating clean etc…she shouldn’t be this weak. She sounds anorexic and you should probably try and talk to her. Being THAT light isn’t normal.
you keep coming to the defense of your kink in the comments instead of expressing genuine concern that your wife may be exhibiting signs of an eating disorder, which is troubling to me.
obviously i can’t diagnose her, but as someone who has been living with an eating disorder (or dying with an eating disorder, lol) for over 15 years, your post and comments set off some serious alarm bells. fyi, just because she exercises a lot and “eats healthy” doesn’t mean she isn’t struggling with ED symptoms or that she hasn’t/won’t develop an eating disorder. she doesn’t have to “fit” all the criteria or look “sick enough”, that mindset is one of many reasons eating disorders go undiagnosed. you could read up on atypical anorexia, orthorexia, and EDNOS, but eating disorders aren’t black and white so really just listen to her and seek out the help of a professional who has a compassionate & nuanced understanding of eating disorders.
please put your kink aside and have an honest conversation with her about your concern for her well-being, both physical and mental. if you can both eventually find a healthy way to explore this kink, do so with communication, in a way that does not reinforce problem behaviors. but supporting her should come first, even if that means having to forego this form of foreplay/sexual desire.
[NEDA’s page on how to support a loved one with an eating disorder](https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregivers) is a good starting point for that conversation. in general NEDA is a solid resource, they have a phone helpline as well as texting & online chat support.
it’s also worth it to try calling some reputable treatment centers if she does need to seek a higher level of care than outpatient therapy. if you’re in the US, [princeton center for eating disorders](https://www.princetonhcs.org/care-services/center-for-eating-disorders-care) or [sheppard pratt’s eating disorder center](https://www.sheppardpratt.org/the-center-for-eating-disorders-at-sheppard-pratt/) might be able to offer some information on intensive outpatient, partial hospitalization, residential, and inpatient treatment options. if you’re uninsured or underinsured, some teaching hospitals have highly regarded low/no cost options (i believe columbia is one, again NEDA is a resource that’s great for this info.)
(also, personal note, fuck renfrew, zero stars, i do not recommend!!)
sorry for any formatting issues, i’m on mobile.
and kind of sorry-not-sorry for the long comment – i really hope that any of this info might be able to help you support your wife. or that it helps anybody that might see it.
What is your direct question? Do you want to start wrestling your wife? or are you worried she’s too thin? or what?
Omg get her to a doctor, it doesn’t matter if her weight makes your dick happy she could die from this
OP, does your wife have a regular(ish) period? That’s one indicator to look out for to know if she’s underweight.
Your wife has anorexia and you’re fetishizing it. Being unable to do daily tasks is a sign she’s deteriorating. It’s not sexy. You need therapy, and so does she. I’m not saying this to kink shame but this is a legit medical problem and you’re encouraging it
To me..???..This reads more of a fantasy you have vs reality.
Nothing wrong with it…just saying.
It would be helpful for her to go to a doctor. Unexplainable weight loss and weakness can be a symptom of several serious conditions such as eating disorders, diabetes, grave’s disease, cancer, tuberculosis, and more. A medical professional can get her whatever help she needs.
In the mean time please stop sexualizing her size if you think she’s sick.
Uh….I think she has an ED.
While there are women who are her weight at her height, what is concerning is that she cannot perform tasks like carrying a laundry basket full of clothes or other daily chores.
Either she’s faking this to play into your fantasies where you are the “strong one” and she’s the slender damsel in distress or she needs serious help. When I had an ED, it went unnoticed because I ate healthy and exercised, but it was only to keep myself thin as possible and I used exercise as punishment for eating outside my “safe foods.”
So, I’m going to take a different approach and ask you, OP, directly this.
**When was the last time your wife had a physical, or any kind of routine labwork done**? If this weight loss absolutely is not correlated to any kind of disordered eating habits or over-exercising or whatever, it could be an indication of a few different medical issues that you’d probably like to get ahead of.
Could be something as simple as having an endocrine disorder like Grave’s Disease or she’s on her way to developing type one diabetes, which is an autoimmune disorder, not a consequence of an unhealthy lifestyle. The absolute worst-case scenario, medically that she could be experiencing is that she has cancer; but nothing so obvious as skin cancer -where she has new moles or growths popping up or breast cancer where there are new lumps in her breasts that weren’t there before. I’m talking about Leukemia or even Colon cancer.
We’re so used to cancer being this long, drawn-out traumatic event where death comes months or even years after a diagnosis, but we’re not always aware that it can sometimes be extremely sudden. I recently witnessed a situation within my social group where a mother under the age of 40 was hospitalized after some kind of fainting episode, they found out she had colon cancer in the hospital, and she died within a week without ever waking up.
There’s a reason why doctors always say “If you experience sudden/unplanned changes in your weight, please come in and get checked out.” You don’t want to be blindsided by a terminal diagnosis before it’s too late.
You can even approach the situation with her by saying something like “Hey babe, I love how you feel about yourself and all of the new confidence you’re experiencing due to this, but I think it would be worth checking in with your doctor to make sure that this was the result of your hard work, and not something serious like a medical condition you have no control over. Would you be willing to go to the doctor to have a physical and bloodwork to make sure you’re as healthy as you can be? I’ll be happy to take the time off of work and go with you if you’d like.”
Her response to that ask is going to tell you where she’s at mentally, and at that point, you’d be in a better position to determine if she has an ED or not. I just don’t want you to have to go through the trauma of suddenly losing her to something that could have been avoided if she had gotten the right treatment early enough.
Please do not further endorse your wife’s weight, she NEEDS to gain weight. I’m skinnier than your wife and I have been told time and time again that being this thin is not healthy, it’s arguably more dangerous than being overweight. She can’t even do basic chores!
She needs to see a nutritionist and a therapist if this is an eating disorder.
I couldn’t even finish this, sorry. But your wife is WAAAAAAAY UNDERWEIGHT. It isn’t healthy. She needs to see someone, a doctor, a therapist, maybe a personal trainer focussed on health. Please don’t fetishize her size, it’s unhealthy.
weirdo ur wife is struggling
I think your wife has an eating disorder and you’ve developed a pro-anorexia kink. She is clearly very underweight and if she is that weak, it’s a huge red flag.
This whole post just makes me cringe. She’s getting off on showing off her disorder and you are encouraging. Please do not show her any more encouragement and you should both get some counseling.
Idk, sounds to me you find it sexually arousing for her to be weak, frail, thin and in need of physical help.
And it also sounds to be quite toxic and I’m wondering if this is more of a it makes **you** feel like a “man” that you’re able to throw her around and she needs you to help.
The fact that you are sexually aroused by someone who pretends (or is) physically struggling with relatively basic activities is extremely telling of your character.
Makes me wonder if you prioritize your sexual feelings over your wifes health at this point.
Just some thoughts…