3 months ago my (32M) ex-fiance (29F) and I broke up (she stole my dog, long story). She slept with someone else while we were broken up… I elected to take her back. Three weeks ago she dumped me and again a week ago she dumped me after we got back together. I slept with someone else this time cause I was done with her. She showed up at my house unannounced and begged me to stay with her and take her back. So I did. I do love her.
Now she refuses to sleep with me. Says all she can think about is the other girl I was with. I just remind her that she did it to me first… Any advice? How much time is fair to give her? She holds grudges over everything (I. E. The dog she stole) so I feel like this is just going to become another over extended problem.

EDIT: Thank you all for your kind words. Thank you all for your harsh words. This is not a troll, this is my life and there is more to the story.

Part 1 written in October 2021: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/qho47l/me_31m_and_my_fianc%C3%A9_28f_just_broke_up_is_there/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb

Part 2 written a week ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/wd0tug/my_exfiance_gave_up

Hopefully that explains it some more. I have been holding onto to a life that left me a long time ago. I am currently in therapy. I am working on myself. There has been a lot of pain for me in the past year and it has been a difficult time.

42 comments

  3. Mate are you on crack ? On drugs ? Something in the water? You took her back like a fool. Dump her in the bin and move on.

  4. So why are you with her?

    She broke up multiple times, she does not respect you, she didn’t hesitate to fuck someone else but expects you to not do the same (while not being together)

    You deserve better. You deserve someone that loves you and respects you.

    Do yourself a favor and stop talking to her, stop seeing her. Find someone better

  5. Your destroying each other. But don’t take our advice, share this with a close confidant and see their reaction

  6. Don’t be her emotional toy and have the strength to let go and be alone. It’s rough but once you’re clear of the debris you’ll see you’re better off being rid of it than trying to salvage a wreck.

  7. Are men today this desperate where you will be with someone that cheated on you, abducted your animal, and then cheated again?? Why can’t men today just be alone??

    Just tell this woman no! Grow a pair of balls dude. What the hell? Why would you be with somebody who cheated on you TWICE and stole your dog?

    Is this a fucking troll post??

  10. Bro. Why are you here. You and her are toxic as f***. Stay together because you both will ruin someone else’s life🤦🏾‍♂️.

  11. She is a typical “crazy”, surely you can see that? Stealing your dog should been where you had enough. I know the sex is wild and the love when there is love is so vibrant but it’s not worth having your dog stolen or being broken up with all the time.

  12. Don’t give her anymore of your time. She has zero respect for you and will definitely continue to treat you poorly. Find someone who loves and treats you better than her.

  14. Lol break up with her dude, she’s just manipulating you because she “thinks” she has more options

  15. Brother, have some respect and dignity. This woman stole your dog, breaks up with you (twice!), sleeps with someone else but holds it against you that you did the same and now wants you back but won’t sleep with you?

    Don’t give her any time. Get rid of her. She has no respect or consideration for you and if you stay with her, it’s clear you have no respect or consideration for yourself

  17. She’s for the streets. She’s a hypocrite and a dognapper. Remember that. She can’t just do this push-pull thing and mess with your emotions like this. It’s not fair. You keep giving in and that’s why she keeps acting like this. Show yourself the respect you deserve because she does not and tell her to hold her grudge elsewhere and to never contact you again.

  19. Dude this is unhealthy you need to fix yourself and stop letting people treat you like shit. You deserve better ❤️

  20. Walk away. but you gotta leave with a bang- something she’s not gonna forget for years

  21. I know it’s hard to see how crazy this is in the present tense. You probably feel like you’ll never find love or whatever again. First of all, love is not enough. Whatever this is doesn’t even sound like love. Sounds more like a toxic emotional addiction. You’ll find someone else in time. My ex actually stole my dog too, but that made me despise her so much that the breakup process was much easier. Looks like that didn’t work on you.

    You both have treated each other very poorly and she has treated you like dog shit. Break up with this miserable woman and never speak to each other again so you can move on. You two are terrible for each other.

  24. hahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

    *deep breath*

    hahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahha

  25. I’ll try to be nicer than the other posts here. You need to leave. You may love her and care deeply for her, but she is using that to manipulate you and keep you exactly where she wants you. You’re her safety net. She left you for whatever reason, sleeps with someone immediately. She clearly did not appreciate you or respect you then. She stole your dog which may be another form of manipulation here, to keep you in an emotional place of wanting to stay with/around her to get your dog back. She then breaks up with you again, shortly after telling you she wants to get back with you? She’s wearing you thin and taking advantage of your well-being and mental state. She now holds the fact that you slept with someone else (while broken up) over your head. That is complete emotional abuse, manipulation. She has you where she wants you hook, line, and sinker.

    For your own good, please leave. It may take years, therapy, and short term emotional pain, but it will be worth it. If you don’t leave, it will only get worse. It clearly has accelerated over the short time you explained.

  26. You must thrive on drama and rejection
    Get your fucking dog back and kick her fucked up ass to the curb

  28. She stole your dog and you’re still hoping for a recovery? Not every relationship deserves to be saved, and there’s no reason to keep toxic people in your life.

    My mother kidnapped my dog during my parent’s separation and held him for a month. When I finally got my dad to take me to get him, I walked in, picked up my dog, and walked out. I haven’t talked to her in 20 years and I have zero intention on rebuilding that bridge.

  29. This is going to upset you, but you asked.
    You are behaving like a weak male. Taking her back was between you two, but, you’ve already established that she can behave badly and walk all over you and that you can be manipulated.
    If she can’t get over it, it’s toxic and she’s manipulative and you are a placeholder while she looks to trade up. She either accepts it, acts like a fucking adult or kicks rocks.

    Nip it in the bud now or you will be miserable for a long time.

  31. As someone that has tortured myself loving someone more than they loved me. The constant cycle of “I want you back, fuck you I am leaving.” “I made a mistake, when I left I realized you are the only person I love.”

    Trust me when I say, it will never ever work out. You will cause serious damage to future you and future relationships.

    I did this back and forth with my “true love” for 15 years before I finally got it. My advice is to send her one final text that lays it all out and then block and delete every possible way for her to weasel her way back into your life. I finally did it a couple years ago and it was like I had a huge cancer cut off me.

  35. Dude you’re a spineless idiot and she has NO RESPECT for you because you took her back and she can tell you’re weak. Leave.

  37. Sounds like a toxic relationship. She stole your dog, she slept with someone else while broken up first, dumped you twice, and now refuses to sleep with you. Why would she stay with you if she can’t let go. Considering she did the same thing it’s not fair to hold a grudge. This will definitely become a problem. Sounds like another break up is on the way. It’s hard when you love someone to move on and none of us know the whole story here but you will have to decide for yourself how long you want to put up with it.

  38. Grow a damn spine and cut this walking tumor out of your life. Your 32 and acting like a dumb 15 year old. Get her gone and work on your own self-worth and shattered emotional state before you get into another relationship PLEASE.

  40. Clearly this is a troll guys. Way too crazy to be believable, and the fact I haven’t seen them respond to anyone should also be a clue

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