Im somewhat sex aversive and I’m also quite anxious with relationships. My partner and I are trying to figure out what would make it easier for me to communicate my boundaries and needs.
I really messed up and my partner found out that I have sex aversion. It wasn’t in an ideal way and it’s created some tension between us. He feels terrible that I wasn’t enjoying it as much as he thought and I just feel terrible that I’ve put him in this place.
I’m trying to get better. I’ve been saying no to sex for the first time in my life, but it’s been extremely uncomfortable and I find I’m slipping back into old habits of just going along with things.
We’re trying the traffic light system (red- stop, yellow- proceed with caution, and green- all is good), but I’m wondering if there’s anything else like that that’s worked for anyone?
1 comment
Openly. Don’t hold back if you really care about that person and if they care about you they’ll adapt for the time being and you’ll find a compromise.
Sex aversion is a tricky thing, especially if your partner has a high libido.
I’ve been asexual for a long time. It created a certain divide between my ex partners and I. However, when I met my current partner and when I communicated how I feel about any sexual activity, what turns me on and fast forward 5 years from that moment and were both BDSM practitioners which perfectly understand each other boundaries and enjoy in all sexual activities together. 😌