Hello! I am a 20 year old guy with a dilemma. I was always the shy person who hesitated to speak up more and generally I was quiet around friends or in places like school, parties, social gatherings. I always felt like I had little to no confidence, a low self esteem and other things like a weak sense of humour and a bit of a social pressure to be better around my peers.

Lately, I can say that I’m not so unconfident and fearful of socialising with people (the latter one is a lot easier now) , but this happens only in serious topics or generally basic stuff. When I talk with people about funnier or more interesting, I still feel like my shyness puts me in an inferior position because I’m not so talkative, witty and ballsy and I still have a low self esteem even though I consider I do some interesting things but I just don’t know how to talk about them (or they just don’t make me interesting enough).

All my life experiences suggest me that shyness is something bad that I should get rid of immediately but others like my parents tell me that I should embrace shyness, and even though I should make changes to get out of my comfort zone as much as I can, they tell me shyness is not a bad thing, nor something to be ashamed of, and that I can still be shy in this process.

What do you think about this?

2 comments

  1. This may be an unpopular opinion. Being introverted or quiet is not a negative trait, but being shy is. Shyness is not a personality trait, it implies that someone has a fear of judgment and there’s no real benefit to being shy. It makes forming connections harder due to fear of how people will perceive you. It makes you too scared to ask for that promotion or go for that opportunity. I think shyness is something to be worked on, but don’t mistake it for your true nature. Some people are more introverted and that’s okay. I would work on your self-esteem and learning how to care more about the person and conversation you’re engaging rather than their opinions of you

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