Comfort and Boundaries

Comfort

If you’re ready for something no matter what it is and the other person isn’t, youhave two options.

1. To break ties with that person simply because you are unable to understand or get onto the same page with them.
2. To just trust the process and understand that all people are different and stick it out if you want to give that person that time. Ultimately implying that you see value in them and if so you will respect their decision and try to find other ways to make them feel more comfortable.

Neither of these options include being rude to someone and saying that “you are wasting my time and any other girls time” ultimately defining them as someone who deserves to be single all because I wouldn’t do that with you.

I’m sorry that I cannot fulfill this need that you see as “very simple and a small ask” but I see it as something else. It is that “date”. It’s the coming over to your place. You coming over to mine. It is those things simply because we are miles and miles apart.

But I will say again, if you feel that the way that I’m being and my inability to take that step is grounds for “losing your number” then really doesn’t that justify why I am scared to take the next step?

Because then what happens if after that step the next step comes around and I’m not ready for that at the exact time you are? Then it will be those fight but two fold simply because now there is more on the line as we’ve already taken the first major step.

I refuse to be told “that I(me) need to focus on myself” and that I’m not good enough and wasting their time by the same person. Do you not understand that one of those counters the other? That means one of them you don’t mean.

And I genuinely feel like you hang up every time I tell you that it’s okay if you don’t respect how I feel or the fact that I need time before making what I perceive as the next step. But every time I tell you why/how you’re being unkind that’s when you want to stop listening. Because you don’t have to accept that you’re being unkind where it isn’t warranted.