I’m a 22yr old male and work as a bouncer occasionally. About once a week.
I am a very shy/introverted person who doesn’t drink alcohol or party…just game, work and gym.
I have never talked to any of the bar staff at my work.
One day I went into work and there was this new staff member I had no attraction to her at all.
Every week she would smile at me and interact with me even if it was something so small like “got any chewing gum” or “how long you on till?”
I found her easy to talk to.
4 weeks ago she and a couple other bar staff members finished early and decided to stay and party. It was about 1 am and I was really tired, sitting observing the crowd and she came up to me sat next to me and gave me a hug. At the time I never really thought much of it. Even when I got home I didn’t really think much of it
Next week rolls by and she’s not there I kinda just thought she took a holiday or something.
Its been about 4-5 weeks now and I think she quit.
I have a deep pain in my heart and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her or the hug.
The thing is I didn’t even know her name and the hug definitely meant nothing to her as she was quite drunk.
I don’t know what advice I’m looking for.
Just want to stop thinking about it/get rid of the pain.
Sorry if this was hard to read just listing stuff off the top of my head.
Update:
I done it! messaged her and she was really happy and said that she was going through tuff times at the moment and that my message made her smile
She said shes coming to see everyone at work next month.
4 comments
My guy. It is time to grab some therapy. No shame in it. It was the best decision of my life.
As a single woman, I know exactly where you are coming from. A simple hug from a friend means the world to me and, in the past, brought me to tears because I needed that touch.
Glad things are working out for you!
I can picture someone throwing you into a pit and saying “It asks out the girl or it gets the hose again.”
She felt safe enough with you to hug you. That’s pretty wonderful, no matter why she did it. You seem like a good person. I have faith in you. I hope her work visit goes well