We’ve owned a house for 2 years now. She says she bought the bed(put it on a credit card.)
We had the same bank account so not sure who’s Money she was using to pay it off.
I told her it’s starting to kill my back sleeping on the couch and she doesn’t care. Told me to get an air mattress.
At first I was like okay, I’ll give her space. Let her be. But a few months later it’s really upsetting me.
What do I do? Do I find somewhere else to live?
36 comments
Why did she kick you out? Snoring or sleeping elsewhere….
Why did she kick you out of the bed?
Communicate. What is her reasoning for this?? Or break up wtf
Get another real bed and set it up in the living room. You’re going to need it in the next place you live. Sell the house.
No one kicks a partner out for no reason. What happened?
Why doesn’t she want you in the bed?? That’s the key piece of this to be able to offer any sort of advice
Suggest either going to counseling to try and work out your issues or breaking up, selling the house and splitting the proceeds accordingly.
Get another bed and put it in the guest room or living room.
How does she expect you to sleep wherever for months?
Also if you’ve had relationship issues to the point that it went on for months and you two haven’t somehow fixed it, think about what this relationship actually is like wtf?
Buy your own bed and plop it in the middle of the living room
Then start making plans to break up and get your own place…..
You’re not even married bro. You don’t have to live like this.
Does her kicking you out of the bed have anything to do with you considering yourself poly at heart and crushing on a woman from work (and telling the coworker you like her)?
Why on EARTH have you waited so long? That the situation is killing your back seems more important than the situation killing your relationship.
Why haven’t you tried to resolve this issue with your gf? You know, using words? If you two are done, it needs to be said, and things have to be organized. You have to navigate the end of the relationship if it is that.
You have broken up. Sort your life accordingly.
Start by splitting the finances. Then sell the house and split the money.
Sell the house. Divide assets.
What do you expect? According to your post history, you told her that you had a crush at work AND you confessed to a girl at work that you had a crush on her. Clearly it’s time to end the relationship.
Ok op, you confessed feeling for a couple worker. You broke trust. What are you doing to repair it? Say look I get it you are pissed but my back is literally killing me and affecting all aspects of my life. I will
Either sleep ONI the bed, or hire an attorney, and either we sell the house, or I move out and you purchase my portion of the equity I own? I’m either way I am sleeping in the bed tonight.
Then say, I want to fix this, and have a plan layer out on what you are doing to fix yourself, and what you plan on doing to help reestablish trust in the relationship. If she goes for it great, if not, go hire the attorney.
Crazy idea, maybe you could confront the underlying issue that caused her to kick you out of your bed in the first place?
Let it be a lesson to you not to buy real estate together unless you’re married.
And don’t have emotional affairs. Pro life tip.
yikes it sounds like you guys are divorced and you forced this upon your relationship. seek couples counseling or figure out which of you needs to be bought out
There seems to be a lot of information missing in this post. Why did she kick you? What is the relevance of who paid for the bed?
How many rooms you guys have in the house? If this is a property purchased by both, so both of you have I suppose 50-50 stake in it.
If you can’t sell right now or/and can’t quite move out, there are different solutions such as: Set up another bedroom for you. So you guys can live like ‘roommates.’ Buy a daybed and put comfy twin bed on it and it can be both seating and bed for you in that room. Or insist on selling the house, or ask her to ‘take over’ for your half of the house by paying you $$. And so on and so forth.
Or since you want to be polyamorous and fallen for another woman, do you think you want to live with that other woman instead of your ex?
ETA: Also another advice: don’t date monogamous woman when you want to be polyamorous. Don’t buy a house with a monogamous woman when you’re polyamorous and in love/like with another woman.
You left out a huge giant piece of important information dude.
Why did she kick you to the couch?
Yes, find yourself somewhere else to live and leave your poor girlfriend.
Lolllllll love that missing info. She doesn’t owe you anything. Move out. Do her a favour
You messed up, allegedly and if that’s the case, just end the misery and your literal pain. With you whole chest you confessed to another woman, while in a committed relationship, so stand in that same authority and boldness and end it. The reason why you accepted the punishment is because you know you did wrong and you feel you’re deserving of sleeping on the couch. But imagine the pain you caused her. You’re paying a huge price for potentially blowing up your life. If you want your bed, go get into your bed. What’s she going to do? (Sarcasm btw) smh…
ETA***
Come to think of it, you can go get the girl you really want. You’re potentially free! Novel, isn’t it! Move out, split, be free.
I was wondering what reasoning she could’ve possibly had for kicking you out of your bed for months, and then I saw your posts about how you consider yourself polyamorous and tried to pursue something romantic with your coworker despite being in a monogamous relationship, presumably with this girlfriend. Yikes dude lmao
“I told her it’s starting to kill my back sleeping on the couch and she doesn’t care. Told me to get an air mattress. ”
Sounds like you’ve shown her how little you care for her, her feelings or your relationship. Now she’s returning the favor.
Why should she care about your back when your greatest concern in being on the couch is “waah my back hurts”. You aren’t concerned with the relationship damage youve caused, just the loss of a bed. Move the hell on dude. Search for your next “partner” on a dating site for polyamory so you don’t hurt anyone else.
I mean you cheated deal with the back pain
Does your back hurt as much as her heart hurt when she found out you were having an emotional affair with a coworker? Probably not. Have you considered actually working on your relationship instead of expecting her to just get over that? Have you considered scrolling Amazon while you lay on the couch, awake and in pain, and ordering an air bed which will likely be infinitely more comfortable than the couch?
Go stay with that coworker you have feelings for. I’m sure you will be in a bed then.
This gf is a different age since your last post months ago. By a few years too. So has your poly at heart bullshit finally caught up? Was the other gf an affair and your partner finally woke up and has distanced herself while she looks to get away from your ass?
Nice job trying to hide confessing feelings for another woman, seemingly already having another woman and your “poly at heart” crap. Really burying the lead mate. He’s either trolling or trying to get sympathy for a situation of his own making.
Oh no, are there consequences for your OWN actions? How dare she!
Breakup, this isn’t salvageable, find your own damn bed, and next time don’t cheat on your gf if you want a bed to come home to.
You keep responding with non-answers in your replies. Like you forget you have a post history where you admit that you confessed to having a thing for a coworker and how you’re poly at heart or some nonsense.
Dude, come on now. She’s waiting for you to leave. Do her a favor and just leave, she’s giving you the curtesy of leaving on your own, don’t push to where she’ll make you leave because she will.
Maybe next time don’t try dumb crap like that? But you gotta grow up my guy.
So, what I have gathered-
You are poly but you have been in a monogamous relationship with your girlfriend. You are on the couch because of a fling you had with your co-worker.. You apparently have done this a couple times (I’m reading your past posts from 5 months ago) and when you told your girlfriend the first time.. She said if it happens again she doesn’t want to be with you. Fast forward a little bit and here you are on the couch.
You disrespected your girlfriend not once, but twice. You agreed on being in a monogamous relationship, not a poly one.
IMO, I think it’s time you confront your girlfriend and ask her if she is planning on making this relationship work. But at the same time, why make something work that isn’t going to work? If you are always wanting to act on crushes or whatever it just simply will not work.
Best of luck.
Move out. She deserves better.
You’re a cheater, and an AH in every way. Leaving out the fact you want to pressure your gf into poly and date a coworker of yours.. Just gross.
Dude, you did it to your damned self. You confessed your feelings to another woman AT WORK, and told your girlfriend about it.
I’d kick you out, not just to the couch.
You don’t get to cause trouble in the relationship, then *surprise pikachu face* your way into manipulating people into believing you’re innocent and saying “I’m trying to make it work, but I don’t think she’s trying”.
You did wrong and your looking for advice?