A few years back, I had planned a hookup with someone and went to their house for it. They leaned in to kiss me and their breath out smelled like weed and I asked them if they were smoking, and they told me yes, but they’d only had one hit before I got there. I asked how high they were and they said that one hit barely does anything to them and that they weren’t intoxicated, and I believed them. They offered me some but I didn’t take it. They were pretty coherent and told me their boundaries and made some pretty decent conversation, so I believed that they were sober enough to consent. They also initiated contact with me by kissing me and repeatedly trying to pull my pants down.

Not much happened. We made out, did a little bit of touching of each other’s genitals, I checked in several times to make sure they were still into it, they were actively participating in everything, told me what they liked and didn’t like, etc. Eventually I didn’t want to continue so I stopped everything. We hung out for a bit afterwards, and they wanted me to hang out while they worked from home. We did, kissed a few more times, and I left. We talked for a bit more on the app, they told me they enjoyed themself and wanted to see me again. Eventually we stopped talking.

I’m just wondering now if it was a mistake for me to believe them. I really don’t know anything about weed and after being sexually assaulted, I’ve been looking back at my own sexual behavior and I don’t know if I took advantage of this person or not. It wasn’t my intention, but I did believe them when they said one hit doesn’t do anything to them. I just hope I haven’t abused anyone in that I’ve been abused.

4 comments
  1. If one ‘puff’ invalidates consent, then what after one sip of wine or beer? What if people make out in 2000m hight?

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