Male(23) – To begin with, I’m 23 and I’m yet to even hold the hands of the opposite gender in a romantic way let alone kiss someone or get laid. Not that I’m shy in front of women or that I was not surrounded by females in my life, in fact, I’m pretty easy around them and have quite a lot of females around me in my workspace.
The thing is, our religion doesn’t allow us to get laid or have a relationship before marrying, and to add to that, our parents don’t let us marry until we are well settled. So to let you have a perspective, I’m 23 and working as a software developer here in Pakistan but because I don’t have a house and a car, I can’t marry. If someone is optimistic, 27-28 is an age where someone is expected to get all that, or even later.
I found out masturbation at around 16 and then started the days where I’d fap day in and day out. 3-4 times a day until I realized that I’d kill myself over that. I’d always go into depression/guilt after a fap and would always think low of myself because obviously, it felt “UNETHICAL”. Now I’m almost always thinking about sex even though I have a very good job and a tough routine to follow. Thinking about it doesn’t really hinder my routine but I’m almost always depressed feeling like I should’ve been laid till now.
I’m in a dilemma. On one hand, I’m a bit religious and don’t really want to have premarital sex, but on the other hand, I constantly feel the urge to feel the warmth of a lady. The most I can do is to find a hooker or smth (which I don’t want to) because a normal girl wouldn’t obviously agree to the act. I know I can’t get married for 4 more years at least and that leaves me sad and a lot of my anxiety comes through that. Ranting continues.