My ex wife keeps the child from seeing me and has filed for child maintenance. But I decide to go with a DNA test which came back negative.

She is now using my son to extort money from me. She is allowing my son to visit from time to time, (once so far) but she also wants to set up a weekly money pocket. Of course, she made it appear as if my son was asking this through whatsapp, but I’ve been a father for this child and I can tell when it’s him or her writing messages.

The most recent message arrived 45 minutes before my son school day ended, indicating that it was not him. Also, the manner of the content indicates that it was not him.

She wanted to know how much I was willing to give in “weekly” pocket money, posing as my son’s, and she also took a picture of my son’s Bank card.

My son does not do this; he prefers to have cash in his hand and refuses to let me deposit money in his account.

Even while I appreciate that they may be in financial problems, I don’t want to be the clown who falls for her tricks.

Of course, I want to be able to see my son, even though I am not his biological father; he is always my son, and I always want to help him with finances and other matters, but not in this manner.

The child support case is still ongoing; I heard somewhere that if the outcome is negative, they will attempt to contact her and track down the genuine father.

​

​

Please advise what I should do in this situation.

Thank you.

10 comments
  1. You need legal advice regarding visitation rights.

    You are not the biological father but are presumably listed on the birth certificate, have raised the child and if could be detrimental to them to no longer spend time with their father.

    If the child is old enough to also ask to spend time with you (the older they are the more weight this tends to have) the courts will take this into account too.

  2. see a solicitor, but be prepared for a shitstorm. If you arent on his birth certificate you dont have parental responsibility, and certainly wont be liable for child support or any other parental thing. She doesnt want you to see him, dont pay. She wants you to hand over money without you knowing its going ot him? don’t do it.
    You are in a horrible position, but seek professional advice for this, because you dont want to end up never seeing him or have a massive back bill to pay

  3. You are oging to need ot speka to a soliciitor about this. You cna find an solicitor in your area here:

    [https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/](https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/)

    Some solicitors will do an free twenty or thirty minutes consultation. If they do make sure what is covered and for that, you are best bringing all the information you have. As well as a list of what question you want going ahead. You should also ask for the fee’s provided upfront.

  4. If you want the rights of a father you have to take on the responsibilities of a father. You are in the fortunate position of getting to choose though.

  5. See a solicitor who deals with family law. If you have raised this child you do have rights.

  6. Obviously seek legal advice, but also take the time to stand tall and be proud of the Man/Dad that you are.

    Takes balls to be this honest.

    You rock 👍

  7. You could try using form c100 https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge. This generally expects you to have tried mediation. There are now mediation vouchers available and you can check if you qualify. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme. For more information: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/how-to-separate1/deciding-what-to-do-when-you-separate/. I have throughout used information for England, which I am familiar with. If you are from another part of the UK, just change it on the CA site and it should tell you what you need to know

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like