I am so jealous in my relationship. I cant figure out what the root cause is. My ex was quite open about his attractions to other women and pornography, and i believe this could play a part. I have been with my current boyfriend for over 3 years now and we have always had a boundary, that we cannot watch porn. I stated at the beginning of the relatiomship that this was a boundary for me and if that was a dealbreaker for him he couldve left there and then, but he even agreed with me that porn isnt something he has ever had interest in, and he can 100% live with the boundary and even agreed he has the same views on it as i did.
I found some for the first time in his phone around 2 years ago, and I was heart broken. He insisted it was from before we were together and i believed him, we resolved it, although it contridicted what he told me when i set the boundaries.
Fast forward to now and he has watched it several times through out the relationship, and everytime i have forgiven him. My jealousy issues are so extreme i cannot watch TV with him. We circle through the same 3 programmes because its that bad. We had a conversation about celebrity crushes, assuming this would teach me to accept that he will obviously find other people attractive, but it just added another thing to my long list of things to be jealous over. I’ve tried so hard to stop being jealous. Im embarrassed to admit I also dont like him playing GTA because of the strippers. The cartoon strippers. Mostly because i found some porn that was cartoon, some anime, some from games he played. It makes me sick thinking about it. How do i stop being jealous?
Ps please dont leave hate comments because i already know, im literally the worst girlfriend ever. I beat myself up over it all the time. Im crying out for help here.
Tl;dr: how do i overcome my jealousy in my relationship?
3 comments
You need therapy if it’s so bad you can’t watch tv together.
Firstly, you’re not the worst girlfriend ever. Some people just get jealous, this is a normal feeling given your past experience. You did the right thing by being vocal about your boundaries with porn. It’s an issue because he has broken that trust by crossing a boundary he initially agreed to. So that itself needs its own discussion, and if its a deal breaker for you then it may be worth thinking about looking for another partner im future that better matches your values.
The TV thing however is a quite different and I think you need to explore it a bit. Why can’t you watch a variety of TV shows?
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