Some time back, I made a post talking about a particular reason why guys have a hard time picking up hints when it comes to dating. But I wanna bring up more reasons as to why guys have a hard time reading hints.
​
1). One women’s hint is another’s “just being friendly”.
​
This is the reason I talked about in the post I made a while back. But I wanna bring it up again. What one women does as a way to let a guy know she likes him, another does the same thing to just be friendly. One women may compliment a guy on his looks as a way of letting him know she’s into him, another may do that to just be friendly, and the list goes on. What’s “just being friendly” and what’s flirting is different for every women and sometimes, what people would usually think is flirting is actually a women just being friendly, and sometimes, what people usually think is just being friendly is actually a women flirting. Because of this, guys can’t tell when a women is flirting with them or just being friendly and they don’t wanna risk being wrong about either one.
​
2). What you’re doing as a hint to let the guy know you like him was done to him in the past and the person who did it was just being friendly.
​
This kinda goes with what I talked about previously. What you’re doing as a way to let a guy know you’re crushing on him, the very same thing was done to him before, but the person who did it to them was just being friendly. So now when they see you doing it, they think YOU’RE just being friendly.
​
3). They’re afraid they’ll get rejected.
​
Simple explaination. They’re afraid if they act on what they think might be a hint, they’ll get turned down and they’ll get embarassed. So they don’t act on what they think is a hint to avoid having that happen.
​
4): They don’t want to be labeled as a creep or a weirdo.
​
Guys don’t want to think a women was flirting with them and be wrong when they try to make a move and be labeled as a creep by the women. So they don’t act on what they think might be hints.
​
5): They don’t want to potentially ruin a friendship.
​
If the person you’re dropping hints on is someone you’re friends with, guys think that if they interpet your hints incorrectly, it could ruin your guys’ friendship. And guys don’t want that to happen. Especially if you two have been friends for a long time.
​
6): They don’t want to end up with a false SA charge.
​
If a guy thinks a women is dropping hints she likes him, and tries to make a move and is wrong, the women could think he is SAing her and press charges. Guys don’t wanna end up like that. Guys can have their lives ruined by being accused of SA, even if they didn’t do it. And if a guy is accused of SA, even if he didn’t do it, people will more often than not side with the women and not believe the guy if he said he didn’t do it. Guys don’t want to have their lives ruined because of a misunderstanding so they don’t act on the women’s supposed hints to play it safe.
​
So, these are reasons as to why guys have a hard time picking up on women’s hints. So, if you’re a women, and there’s a guy you like, and you’re thinking about dropping hints on him that you like him, remember these.
29 comments
Or…. We are all just morons….
As a man should I always be looking for hints before doing anything then?
Should I assume that every women that may be interested in me will try to make her interest known to me in some way?
In my experience the number of times a women did something that may be to hint interest to me is extremely small.
Also, as a bi-woman, I’d say women (or men but that’s more uncommon to me) giving “hints” are a huge red flag.
You’ll want in a relationship in which both are adults and can communicate their intentions and emotional state. Not being constantly “tested” on picking up microexpressions.
I stopped trying to pick up on hints (except the really obvious ones) because every woman is different, has had different experiences, expectations of a starting relationship, and this results on many types of different hint.
Lets just be mature and asks for what we want, both ways, whenever you feel like it
Alternative post title: Why do women have a hard time saying what they mean?
And before I get steamrolled by a litany of women and their excuses, think about what OP is asking here for just a moment. Why are men so clueless?….
Well, there are many solutions here! One of them is speaking plainly if the former isn’t working for you. If something is consistently not working to the point you have to pen a post over it maybe shake up your methods.
I’m sure there’s been research into “women’s hints” that found that neither men nor other women could decipher them.
I’ve sorta learned over time, it’s better to be wrong and misinterpret a wrong hint. It’s not such a big deal to misread a situation. Done right, it’s flattery at worst.
We blind
How about just not assuming whenever a girl talks to you that she’s trying to get with you? That’s a good start. We say a few words to you fellas and ya’ll just jump to conclusions that it must be attraction. No, you just looked like a safe person to ask a question or talk to in the moment. Unless we’re trying extra hard to spend time with you, we’re not flirting. Simple as that.
Just be straightforward or make it obvious
I actually have a good example of 1 and 5. There was a girl who lived the same street as me when I was little until I moved away.
We met again in highschool. She was very friendly to me, and eventually said “we need to go on a date sometime.”
My brain shorted because I thought a date meant you liked that person, and wanted to get to know them better. She also had a boyfriend, so I got confused. “Wait, don’t you already have a boyfriend?”
She then gave me a deadpan stare, said “you read too much into things”, and walked off. After that, she was much cooler and distant with me.
Since then, I put everything through the “They’re just being friendly.” filter.
This shit is why I’ve gone poly / free love. Open communication is key, and easy when the expectation is there.
That and I will never be able to fully trust another woman. So I divide it up.
im defintly in the “dont want to be rejected” and “dont wanna be accused of SA someone” camps..other wise id be approcahing woman if they gave me so much as a good hint
We receive little to no attention normally
We are averse to injecting ourselves into other’s lives
We’re introverts going from work to home on repetition told we can’t ask out women in public places or places of work instead we must go online and die inside slowly in the purgatory that is 1 of a million text messages
After years of no’s you kinda just assume the answer is always the same just for a list of reasons a mile long
Some of us actually hate most social media bullshit try answering the question when they ask for your profile it’s like your an alien
You should also add. Sometimes we also won’t believe the compliment was sincere especially in a school setting because pranks. This makes future compliments received suspect because in the past there were pranks.
Don want to get in trouble. I think a female should show more signs that they like a guy why it’s simple girls are not known to pickup guys
Change your SA to SH (sexual harassment), and I agree with you 100%.
If a guy responds to something as benign as flirting/friendliness with sexual assault, it’s that guy’s fault, period.
This is why I advocate for every girl to just make moves if they’re interested. I especially want to emphasize the point that thinking that a girl is giving hints and you acting on them when she was just being friendly can ruin a friendship or even ostracize the guy out of a friend group of the girl didn’t accept the advances.
Girls making the first move have a much higher rate of success for relationships and there’s really no reason why they shouldn’t. It only hurts girls to not make the move. Scared of rejection? Welcome to being a man. You won’t be rejected nearly as much as the average man will. You have many more options in real life and on dating apps than a guy, make use of it and go for who you want.
I’ve said #1 to so many women in my life. The line between flirtatiousness and friendliness is so blurred at times and we don’t wanna risk making you uncomfortable. We aren’t oblivious to signs. We ignore them because it’s a gamble not to
Every woman needs to read this 👆
I’ll die alone before I go after “hints” again.
This isn’t a failure of men.
We’re dumb? That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Most of these are true but also half of them we just don’t pick up on at all and we prefer if You are direct
Yup it’s time for ya’ll to make the moves
All true. As a man, it’s best to never pick up what may be a perceived hint no matter what happens unless the woman makes it perfectly clear first and foremost that she’s Interested in you in some capacity
Being a creep is a big one for me. I at best average looking. I dont want to cause a scene if I’m wrong and not use to women giving hints.
That been told I’m a flirty guy when I’m not interested in someone.
Im wondering, is a wink a flirt?
I don’t think guys have a hard time with hints, I just think they analyze the situation and determine if she’s attractive enough to start talking to her.
My hints are nudes 😉