Something on your mind? Share your dating shower thoughts! Tuesday Truths

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1. I have never had a date, like the fruit. I don’t even know what dates taste like. Are they good? Coming to think of it, I don’t even know what dates look like.

2. Recently got told for the 5th time in the last 2 years that “I’m just not ready for a relationship”. I always respect it and don’t push it since who am I to tell a women what she does and doesn’t want.

   10 years of being single is starting to feel really bad. I’ve chased my career all over the country so I’m not doing myself any favours, I’ve been less than stable even though I’m doing the right things and being a good, sociable person with goals and ambitions. But I guess life doesn’t always deal a fair hand to everyone – good things don’t always happen to good people.

   Lots of things work out for me, and this is one thing that never does.

   Here’s to one more night alone, but also to being one night closer to the night where I can hold someone who sees value in me.

3. Taking a shower a date idea? A little forward for a first date, but could be fun. At least you’ll both be clean!!!!

4. I wish I had something to procreate with other than men.

5. I don’t think I’m girlfriend material. I’m always in the friendzone :'(

6. i might be alone on this one. but don’t understand the new trend of putting your own baby pictures in you OLD profile.

   like … maybe you’re trying to show what your kids will look like? except genetics doesn’t always work that way. something about it makes me feel weird. just take another random selfie.

7. I was happy to use OLD apps to search for something casual because there’s low stakes, but now that I’m looking for something more serious I don’t want to use them because it seems to put me at a natural disadvantage as a man and the stakes are higher.

8. I’m in a malaise.

   Mid 30’s has been rough. I retired early & am on a sabbatical but am certainly hitting midlife crisis. Been battling health issues, realizing how fleeting time is, what a tangled web of mess my life/personal life is. Can I really date someone right now?

   Feels like time is running out & I don’t even know where or what I want to do. It’s such a weird topic to convey on dates also. I really am sounding like some slacker doof

9. I have two friends who keep getting together and breaking up, while hurting each other, themselves, out friend group and essentially picking at the weird scab of their weird relationship endlessly. Everyone in our friend group is slowly giving up on picking all the pieces each time this happens.

   They know they’re bad for each other at the moment, they know this isn’t going to work right now, try both Leo saying they have conflicting desires yet they’re so drawn to each other it’s driving me crazy. As a person with a secure and healthy attachment style that never has drama or any sort of deliberate pain inflicting in my relationships, I honestly don’t get how a person can justify this to themselves. I get their highs are high, but aren’t the lows low enough to combat the desire to get back into the acid pool and get burnt again?!

10. It feels like I (32m) will never find anybody, at least not on dating apps. It’s like, completely impossible. When I ended my last relationship a year ago (which started on Tinder) I never thought it would be this difficult. I feel like 90% of the women I meet aren’t even serious about dating. Not one of the ~15 or so women I’ve “dated” in the past year seem to be in a relationship on social media and still have dating profiles. Like, how is that even possible?

    Everyone looking for initial “spark” which isn’t even a good indicator of long term compatibility. I had “spark” early in my last relationship, and ignored other obvious compatibility concerns. All of which came up years in to the relationship and broke it apart. I know I’m right about this, but it feels nobody agrees. I would have thought people in their 30s would have realized all that by now. Shared values, compatibility, and attraction make for a good long-term partner, and sometimes “spark” can take time to build as the majority of human being aren’t themselves around strangers.

    I feel like if you don’t cash out in early adulthood you are pretty much screwed for life. I’m so tired of the process and not having somebody to do stuff with that I probably stink of desperation at this point. It’s a vicious cycle. I also hate the stigma that a single guy is single because he can’t get a woman, but a single woman is “empowering and strong”. It’s so dumb.