I’m in my mid-20’s and I’ve been dating a man for the last year who’s in his early 40’s and we have sex probably 2-3 times a day on average when we’re together. Some days it’s more like 4-5, some days it’s just once (but even then he usually still needs to masturbate once or twice). This is the first time I’ve dated anyone more than 10 years older than me, so I was quite shocked to realize that I’m the one that struggles to keep up with him. I have a pretty healthy sexual appetite, but I never imagined 4-5 times a day would be possible.
If you’re over 30 and dating / married how often do you (or would you like to ideally) have sex with your partner? Also how long have you been together? For the single men what’s your libido like? How many times a day is it normal to relieve the sexual tension?
22 comments
I’m 45. Ideally… Yeah, 2-3X a day would be great on weekends with only 1X a day on weekdays. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely slowed down. In my 20’s my wife and I went at it probably 2-3X *every* day and I still masturbated regularly.
39. Married. 2+ times a week. My ideal is 2+ times a day.
I’m 33, single. My libido is higher now than it’s ever been. If I had time, I could masturbate 4 – 5 times a day. Realistically, I only get in one or two.
I’m 36, I would love 1-3 times a day, but only get 1-3 times a week, because my wife can’t keep up.
My sex drive in my 30’s has ramped up after I lost a lot of fat and gained a lot of muscle when I started seriously exercising. I find that my health has been much more correlated with my sex drive than my age.
I’m 38 with a new girlfriend. We are at it 5-8 times a day when we see each other.
Good lord, this thread!
I’m 36 and haven’t had sex in 2015. I’m single and have too many things to do to worry about getting a leg over.
Looks like my bro’s in this thread are pulling double shifts. Thanks!
After 30 it was fine. After 50, less so…
32, with two girlfriends (they are aware of each other) and other assorted partners. I like to cum 3-4 times every single day, whether it’s from sex or masturbation, just like I have since I was 14. My libido experienced a drop for a few years in my mid-twenties when I got depressed and out of shape, but other than that, it’s been steady.
I think one thing that happens is guys don’t stay in shape. Sex is a lot more fun, and the IDEA of sex is a lot less intimidating, when you do cardio regularly and aren’t carrying extra weight. You get better blood flow, don’t get out of breath, and have lots more energy overall. Guys who are losing their libido should make sure they’re fit before they worry about medical intervention (although there are certainly guys with medical reasons for low libido).
My libido FAR outpaces my younger girlfriend’s (33 vs 29). I could go 2-3x a day and write it off as my daily cardio. In fact, I haven’t worked out in months (I need to get back on the wagon) and by doing so, my testosterone (and thus, drive) would shoot up even more. I tend to go on-and-off so I might go for two weeks without feeling the urge, and then the following week my body turns on teenager-mode.
In reality, it might be twice a month, *at best*. Had some really bad dry spells (spanning months) previously. I suspect it would improve drastically if she started exercising.
33 and not much has changed since I was 17 to be honest. My wife and I manage to get it done a couple of times a week and I occupy myself a couple of times a day.
Like everyone in this thread, about 750 times a day on average, on weekend 1500 times.
Sounds about right! I am married going on 11 years. I’m 45 yrs old, my wife is 32. Sex 2-3 times a day would be fine by me. If I don’t get sex, I masturbate 1-2 times a day.
One word to explain what you described: VIAGRA! Seriously, I’m 44 and don’t have a problem admitting that after my divorce I had difficulty maintaining an erection except when masturbating (I’ve always tied emotion to sex so it took awhile to get used to being with a woman that wasn’t my former wife of 17 years). I had lost a significant amount of weight so I knew that wasn’t my issue so I went to the doctor and he prescribed the miracle drug that changed everything. I’m now past the emotional issues but I continue to use it as I’ve never had better sex in my life. Like seriously I can have sex for hours and multiple times a day after a marriage where I was lucky to get it every other Saturday (although admittedly would have preferred it a couple times a week).
My guess is your man is popping the blue pill and dating his dream girl! I know that’s what I’m doing! (although my girl is 38 but she’s in her prime so sex is amazing!)
I don’t think I have the drive for 4-5 times a day but given the time and opportunity I’m pretty sure I could pull it off no problem, at least about twice a week.
Age probably matters less than number/age of children.
I spent 12 years of marriage getting it once per month. That was not enough for me.
My current girlfriend wants is 1-2x/day. Thats a little too much for me.
For me, 3x/week is perfect. Throw in a couple of random extras when the time is right (but not every week) and I would be happy.
**Serious question-**
For the guys that have sex multiple times per day plus masturbate, how do you keep the sensitivity up? After a couple of days I find it takes longer to cum and I need significantly more stimulation to the point that sometimes I just can’t finish (But I make sure my GF does). After about 3 days of 2x/day I need 48 hours to recover.
I’m M/34 and married. I had a comparative revelation after our (wife, F/35) had our second child almost 3 years ago. This also happened around the time I started seriously working out: weights, running, grappling, BJJ.
My libido is way higher than hers… so much so that we have approached the divorce talk more and more. The truth is, if sex wasn’t an issue and I was still doing husband things, she’d be perfectly “happy.” She has directly stated that she is “content” in our marriage now; not “happy,” but content. Sex is a stressor for her and the lack thereof is for me.
Without getting into a recent marital history: I would be perfect if I was having sex every day and a couple times a day sometimes. She’d be happy with once a week, if that. For me, that is intolerable. The solution I found was the MAP (Male Action Plan) as described in “The Married Man Sex Life Primer” by Athol Kay. In short: I make myself as sexually appealing as possibly in action, grooming, lifestyle, and habits. The results being that she will notice either me, or notice other women noticing me (pre-selection.) As a result, sex organically should increase from there. If not… I’m primed for sex with others.
I have told her that once a week is unacceptable for me, in the past. Basically, we will have regular sex or we will not be married. Marriage is, at it’s core, a relationship with friendship and sex exclusivity. Without sex, marriage is just a needlessly complicated, contractual friendship or roommate.
If I were dating, I would still run the MAP on whomever I was dating: make myself as attractive as possible and available for sex as possible. If the compatibility isn’t there, I would move on. After 15 years of marriage… I know how important sex is now.
I’m 42.
3-5 times a week is the average. (High end? 3-4 times a day, low end… 2 times a week, but 3-5 is the average) I’d be up to 10-14 a week if I had my way. My sex drive isn’t flagging yet, knock on wood (see what I did there?)
He might be on testosterone replacement therapy and his dose is a bit too high.
(I’m on TRT too.)
You being in your mid 20s has a lot to do with his drive.
I’m a 29 year old woman who dated a 40 year old man for a few months last year and I had the same experience. He wanted it twice a day at least. I was pleasantly surprised. He was very healthy and I’m sure that had something to do with it.
Married 25 years. Usually have sex 3-5 times per week unless Aunt Flo is visiting. She’s not into that kind of mess, though I would be all for it. 1-2 times daily would do just fine, in my opinion. I am 45M by the way.