I’ve (28M) been dating this amazing woman (35F) for 3 months. Things were going great. I fell for her. She had just started a new job and her lifestyle changed a bit about 2 and half months in. Before the job she had time to hangout once or twice a week. But after the job I went a couple weeks workout seeing her. I had a conversation with her and told her I loved her and she said she said she needed space. I gave her 2 more weeks with minimal communication as she was stressed from her everyday life.
We had dinner last Saturday and she tells me she just wants to be friends. My question is does she actually want to be friends or is she just protecting my feelings? She did give me a couple parting gifts and I genuinely do like her as a person regardless of romance. But I’m not sure how to go about initiating any hangouts as most of ours were one on one or with a third wheel. We met on Bumble so there’s no real mutual friend group. Please be honest. I want unbiased opinions regardless of how it affects me. Please and thank you.
Tl;dr: How often do women actually want to be just friends after a relationship?
5 comments
I’m friends or civil with all my exes, male and female.
It’s just a nice way of ending things. She will eventually get a boyfriend and stop talking to you. Best to move on.
I agree with someone else here that said it’s a nice way of ending things. I’d also add sometimes we do mean we can be friends, just that right now we are putting distance for x reason. So my advice is do not reach out to her insistently. I know it hurts specially since you mention having feelings for her. Also, think how reaching out to her will make you feel.
Honestly, you’re not going to find consensus on this answer. It’s not a gendered issue. I’ve said that same line for varying reasons and meant it in varying ways, depending on the person. Some I just wanted to indicate I’m not romantically interest in, some I truly cared for and wanted to keep in my life.
Your best bet is asking her if she’s just looking to have an amicable breakup where you guys can run into each other without tension in the future or if she’s genuinely looking to start up a friendship with you.
Never (for me)! I’ve never maintained a friendship after a break up except one that was toxic and eventually ended with a ghosting incident. I have zero desire to have exes in my life because next to none of those relationships started around sustainable shared interests.