been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now and were supposed to go on a date tonight. I spent the afternoon in the hot sun cleaning out my car and this afternoon texted me to say she had to cancel. haven’t been on a date in months was really looking forward to it (even though I was also very nervous). now I just want to crawl in my bed and sleep away the weekend. trying not to get to me but I just can’t help it. dating just sucks.
22 comments
Did she give any reason for cancellation?
Allow yourself to feel a little bit like crap for today, don’t repress that feeling or it will get worse. You just went through an terrible experience and it’s okay to acknowledge it.
In a few days or weeks when you are ready to get vulnerable again, get back on the game.
Did she give a reason or try to reschedule? Flaking once isn’t the end of things, just don’t let it become a pattern
Go out with some friends?
When you put yourself in the dating world, things like these happen and don’t take it personally. Next time when a girl agrees to go out with you, ask yourself “what if she cancels?” That way you can have a backup plan (like go to gym, hike, hangout with friends, watch movies, learn a hobby) and if she cancels, you can do that backup plan. 😊
What I would do?
I got my car cleaned, it’s a pretty nice day where I am. I’d go for a long drive blast the music high, let the wind blow through my fingers. If I lived close to the water that’s where I’d go.
In other words where does beauty and wonder strike you the most?
-go to that place cuz it’s when we feel exhausted and beat down that it’s the best place to be.
I once tried to date a girl who did this. It was a pattern and I was too blind to catch it in the early stages. It hurts, I know. But it’ll be okay, I promise. This girl actually eventually ended up not aligning with my values and what I want in a partner so I cut off contact and it’s completely okay with me. If she is a clear communicator and can admit to some issues she needs to iron out, maybe she will be willing to talk. If not….rejection is just redirection.
Been there. Don’t worry, it will likely happen again. Very common thing for women to flake
That’s how it is pimp, dont let it get you down. Get out there more and talk to more girls. Go out with the boys, have some brews with the dudes and have fun.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this love, is it possible that’s she is actually unwell? I would hate for you to feel so upset if that was the case.
I am older, I’m sure, but I had to have my gallbladder out last year, I was sick for 10 months on and off, like could barely work, my liver started to fail and had to have surgery kind of sick. I just can’t imagine someone would spend the time to get to know you and then behave like that with no reason. Then again, I’m older and not into games, maybe that’s the problem?
If it’s a pattern, maybe there is some sort of uncertainty at play on her part? Perhaps she has been in unhealthy relationships and she questions her judgement? If you think it’s not worth pursuing, maybe you should move on. Don’t ignore your intuition, you know you best, and how you feel about the way others behave toward you, don’t discount that.
If you don’t get an actual date set up within 2-3 days of talking, it’s most likely not going to happen. Never wait weeks.
Good luck next time.
Find a new date lol
I would respond with simply “Okay sure, have a good night”
Let her suggest the time/date to reschedule, if she doesn’t. Move on. Don’t chase her.
You should have been sourcing more numbers/girls the entire time, maintain an abundance mindset.
And why are you talking to her for weeks without setting a date sooner? Are you txting essays to each other the entire time like one of her girlfriends?
Txts are only for setting time/place/date. Build rapport in person.
And NEVER feed chics you’re not smashing. You’re not their father.
This is why you need to date multiple people at the same time, you should even book two dates on the same day, at different times so you can get two on the same day. THEN you’ll be the one canceling. I have done this and it’s feels SO GOOD to have iptions vs having only one. Otherwise yeah, continue to get your hopes crushed ✌️
Don’t let it get to you, man… it’s extremely hard for men to get a date these days, let alone sex, or a relationship. If I were you, I’d look at the positive: “hey, at least, I got to clean out my car.”
In these rough times, positive reinforcement is really important, or else, small things are going to get you down.
Also, look at it this way: maybe it will give you a time to get over your anxiety, so the next date you go on, you won’t be as nervous.
She has no respect for other people’s time. Time to move on.
First. Don’t spend two weeks chatting before asking a woman out for a date. You should be doing that within 1-5 days, depending on the conversation frequency. Ask for her number, and talk to her on the phone or video chat. Phone conversation/video chat is important to continue building rapport and determining if **YOU** want to go on a date with her. You may end up chatting with her and find out she has a shitty personality. You then saved yourself from going on date with her.
Second. Have hobbies and interests that keep you occupied regardless if you have a date or not. This will help you cope and make you happy. If a woman cancels, yeah it sucks, but you move on.
I had a similar experience where girl cancelled because she was feeling sick and told me she will reach out once she feels better. She never did and I didn’t want to follow up cause I always initiated conversations.
Look at the positive aspects of it. You got your car cleaned up and yourself. Take it as a tie not a loss
Improve yourself
The real reason youre upset is that you need to line up at least one date a week
I feel so sorry for you :(. I would give you a hug if I could. Did she offer to meet another time?
Don’t let this stop you from giving up on dating, though. Dating does suck for men and women. There’s a lot of risk you have to take. You have to go through a lot of bad ones to get to a good one. I used to get a lot of guys on dating apps who just wanted to smash me and dash me. They weren’t interested in having a relationship. I did eventually find two guys online who I dated.
Don’t dwell on this too long. Wish you the best in the very near future.