My(20) boyfriend doesn’t like giving oral. He’s told me about bad experiences he’s had and basically giving oral makes him go soft after that bad experience.
Edit: Specifically his first experience giving oral was to a girl with BV and the next girl after he said he didn’t like the texture.
He’s given me head maybe 4 times in the 6 months we’ve been together. I love giving him head but it feels imbalanced, even though neither of us can cum from oral alone. I find the only thing that gets me off is my vibrator and even then I have a hard time getting relaxed enough to cum in front of him. I don’t know if he knows I’ve never came with him even though I’ve expressed feeling close to finishing. But the part that bothers me is he’s never asked if I came during sex. We communicate for the most part and I expressed recently that I wished he gave me head more often and he agreed and told me he planned on surprising me next time we saw each other but I know he doesn’t like it so it feels weird. I guess I have to find the maturity to ask him why he hasn’t asked if I finish after sex but my question for Reddit is how can I finish when it feels impossible. Sex itself feels amazing during penetration, when he fingers me and we use a vibrator but I just can’t seem to finish around other people is the biggest issue.
We have lots of aftercare and he never makes me feel bad after sex but I guess the fact that I love giving head and he doesn’t bothers me.Any possible solutions will be greatly appreciated
12 comments
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Sounds problematic and selfish. Next.
The simplest thing to do would be, after giving him head, and he’s about to penetrate, stop him, and say “baby (or whatever the heavens you call him), I want you to suck my pussy.” He has to start getting used to doing it.
Honestly, I can’t imagine talking a man into oral when I know it grosses him out. I would myself feel uncomfortable, and I bet he wouldn’t do a good job anyway. You either accept or move on.
This is really unfortunate. It’s sounds like he is still learning to be a good lover in some ways and the more you talk about it, I think the better.
On the oral specifically though, it sounds like he just really doesn’t enjoy it. In my head I want to say that he needs to get over it and just do it, but that because I love doing it. If it were a woman saying that didn’t want to give a blowjob this whole forum would be telling the guy not to push. So I guess I think you should see how this next try plays out. But if you end up with a boyfriend that just doesn’t go down on you, you will have a big decision to make. I honestly don’t think I could do it in a monogamous situation.
He needs to learn to give you oral. And I don’t mean for a few minutes. I mean until you have an orgasm or multiple orgasms. You need to tell him you need this.
You can’t force him to like it, or to give it to you.
Personally, I have preferences that will result in a “next” if they aren’t met. You have the right to do the same. Good, enjoyable sex is important in a relationship and you are allowed to set the parameters of what constitutes “enjoyable” for you.
For me, a woman better enjoy both giving and receiving oral. If not, dealbreaker. Their are plenty who enjoy both.
I would move on. He has every right to his presences and boundaries…but for me, not eating me often and enthusiastically would be a deal breaker.
Welcome to my world. I only had one partner that was enthusiastic and she wasn’t proficient, likely because we were both young at the time. Every other partner was unenthusiastic or a hard no due to unspecified past bad experiences. If it’s important to you you need to move on. It may take a bunch of partners before you find an enthusiastic one.
I go soft when giving oral too, I can’t focus on two things at once. That part is perfectly normal. Not liking it, well….I can’t help with that.
Shittttttt! You gotta tap out. If he doesn’t want to eat you out, that’s a HARD pass. I love getting eaten out 😜 Sometimes we have internal narratives in our heads that withhold us and the other person has to gain that confidence. I used to be anti-giving head, but I have changed that tone to, “I want to suck your cock cause I want to please you and it’s sexy to get you off.” Everyone has to get to that point. It took me learning more about my own sexual preferences, reading sex blogs, listening to podcasts and masturbating more where things really turned around for me.