How to love a Girl with a Guarded Heart

Hi everyone,

So, about 4 months ago, I met this amazing girl online and it seemed like we really kicked it off pretty well. We both share certain and unique hobbies and quickly were able to make a connection from there. She’s such a kind person and I genuinely was impressed by her not just from what we shared, but her character and what she was as a human being. I felt things started to escalate between us and signaled to her my romantic intentions. She seemed okay with the idea and I would poke fun and flirt with her. But I never felt such a genuine connection with someone until then and teased her about meeting up one day (in the future ofc). She basically read what I was saying and asked if I saw her as potential. I told her that I think it’s very possible but we need some more time. She then brought up the fact that her parents are really strict and were looking for a particular type of guy and didn’t think I would be that person. I asked how did she know, to which she told me that she doesn’t have to know, she just knows her parents are strict. This was the very first time that I felt she had some fear or was being afraid.

Later on she told me about having a previous relationship with someone and as grateful as I was that she voluntarily disclosed that, I had to ask her one thing in particular since I wasn’t ever intimate with anyone before. Rest assured, she said she hasn’t either, but she reacted rather anxiously and told me that she felt I was talking too much in context of a future between us both. I assured her that I wasn’t in a rush, but needed to know and learn more about her. She then went on to say that she didn’t see me romantically. I surely thought that may be this was over, I told her that I wouldn’t continue anymore but she had to follow her heart. Surprisingly, she didn’t let me go and told me that she wouldn’t be able to rule out a future between us. She said she would still be interested in getting to know better. From this point on, I could only infer that she’s been hurt by her past, and my conversations about us scared her most likely.

I decided that I would give her space and time and informed her that it would good for her to help her sort things out. She was grateful instead and we talked less but still were talking nonetheless. I reminded her periodically of the good I saw in her and encouraged her in her schoolwork as well as to help her with her self-esteem. She received all of it positively.

Only recently, I had felt the need to ask her something which went back to the beginning of our interactions, why did she feel afraid of her parents, were did expecting something from her/me? She told me that her parents had specific religious expectations and told me in detail about them. She started phrasing things with “you” like saying “they would expect you to perform X, and you should be able to do Y.” I was totally cool with it as it didn’t sound like anything extreme or out of the ordinary to me. Since more time had passed by, I later on just felt the need to tell her how I honestly felt. I told her that I liked her and had feelings for her. She told me she wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship and that she isn’t sure she feels the same way. I decided to draw the line and say that I would respect whatever she truly feels, but if she was definitely saying no that she would allow me to move on and we should part ways respectfully, no hard feelings.

Now, I know she’s also stressed with med school school, but she responded by saying that she would promise to respond to this as soon as she’s done with her Med School exams. Now here I am still doing what I’ve been doing in my own life, but still left wondering one month after that last message what should I really do? I really do want her and care about her, but unrequited love never goes anywhere. Perhaps she actually does like me and is scared to admit. I’m just genuinely confused, I never felt such a genuine connection to anyone, yet almost 4 months later, I’m still not sure what’s going to happen. What do I do?

TL;DR. Girl shows interest in me, reveals that she had a past, inferring it didn’t go well from her behavior, and when things get close, she pulls away. Should I continue to wait?