First of all, this post is for my friend that doesnt use reddit and would like opinions.

I [F,24] and my date [M, 30] have met with this year in the operating room. I am a med student and he is a specializing surgeon. We had a nice talk, he was very caring and told me to go home when I was coughing (asthma), to rest a bit.

Few months passed, I developed a crush on him but we never saw each other again, just in the hallways.

In the beginning of summer, he added me on ig, and I started literally shaking when I saw that. My practice was done and I didnt expect it. Immediately slid into my dms. He apparently doesnt remember me, and asked if I was the girl in the white uniform (I wasnt, but it didnt matter to me).

He started being sweet and funny. But he was cringe sometimes. He also was illiterate a bit (in our native language its a big mistake and people judge you because of it) but I didnt think much of it.

He helped me when my mother was sick by calling the doctors responsible for her.

We were flirting, and we basically fell in love with each other. We started dating. Everything went well.

Until one night when I messaged him that Im thinking about him. He asked what he can do about it, and I said nothing, since he’s not here. Then he started messaging me where he would kiss me, heading in the direction of sexting probably. I was shocked and told him Im not that type of girl. Instead of apologizing, his ego got hurt and he said I set him a trap, bla bla. I felt like he wanted to end it all. But I explained to him that I have true genuine feelings for him and that just the thought of that makes me blush. We made up.

He told me that I must have been daddies girl, and I replied that I wasnt, that we have bad relationship, and he wasnt interested in that topic. I felt that the topics I started, from my interests and such, didnt interest him and he would change topic.

He told me that Robbie Williams’ “Feel” makes him think about me and he dedicated it to me. He told me Im his special girl, different from all the rest. All was great. The next morning, I noticed he follows half naked women on instagram. It bothered me but okay. After that women that didnt follow him back. Cringy but whatever. And then I saw that he follows very young 18-19 year old women and that immediately raised some suspicion in me. The next day (after all our lovely you are so special and we are so in love talk) I told him if I am so special why are you following all these women. Immediate change in behavior. You dont trust me, you think I cheat on you?? Then told me I cheated on you with I dont know who, I dont know when, thats that, we will stop our communication. I was confused and tried to make some sense into him but pointless.

Few days after that, I apologized. I wrote big and lengthy apology thanking him for the help and apologizing. He barely replied, some generic stuff, in a sense “yeah yeah f off” (maybe not that much but still completely not interested anymore).

How do I get over it, Im really heartbroken? Should I try some more with him? Did I really make such a bad mistake?

11 comments
  1. You are 24 talking to a 30 year old man seeing some red flags it wasn’t going to work out long term.

    The smart move is to move on with your life.

  2. He’s not 30, at least in maturity. I wouldn’t be surprised if he started to date an 18-19 year old. You should move on.

  3. Understand this OP: I know it hurts right now, but you are better off without him. You are a young woman, and, as cliched as it is, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and one of those fish will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. That is not this man.

    This man has cheated on you. He has guilted you for your discomforts. He blows up at you when you raise (valid) concerns. Please OP, do not waste anymore energy on this man.

  4. I don’t understand. You aren’t sleeping with him? You aren’t the type of girl to talk about sex with him?

    How could he be cheating on your if you aren’t even in a relationship?

  5. Think about when he contacted you on IG. He was fishing around. You just happen to have a crush on him so you responded back. You were just 1 of the 20 girls that he was constantly trying to reach out to. You are too naive. No need to apologize. Just move on from this egotistical jerk.

  6. He doesn’t sound serious, he’s going after really young girls, and sounds like there are plenty of red flags. Move on, don’t give him the time of day he’s not worth it especially if he has you questioning if you are in the wrong. Consider this a blessing, you are better off and deserve better.

  7. Dude mightve dodged a bullet just as much you did because you are a little fucked up in the head and hes childish for his age

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